


Lucretia Director and the Denizens of Azkaban

by onArete



Series: The Most Powerfully Magic Number [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Cycle 70, F/F, F/M, Hogwarts AU, I love her, IPRE at Hogwarts, Lucretia is a gay disaster, Lup has two hands, M/M, Multi, Prisoner of Azkaban, So does Lucretia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-07-25 03:56:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 30,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16189574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onArete/pseuds/onArete
Summary: With her memory gone and dementors around the castle, Lucretia doesn't quite know what to do.  She devotes herself to finding a way to remember all that she's lost.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello! Thanks for reading! This fic will be updated on Mondays and Fridays for the foreseeable future. Enjoy!
> 
> Sections in italics are Lucretia's journal.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Starblaster returns to Hogwarts.

  


The Starblaster was enroute for Hogwarts, having just left Hawaii after a summer spent on the beaches.  The seven of them explored the island, and did their best not to get caught by the local authorities for being seven children without a proper guardian.  But summer ended, as all summers do, and soon they were flying back over a stratosphere dotted white with scattered clouds.

 

The night was dark, and Lucretia sat on the deck, looking up at the stars.  They were beautiful in this plane, or so she assumed. She did not remember the other planes.

  


\-------------------------------

 

_Cycle 70, Year 3, August 30_

 

_My name is Lucretia Director.  I know very few things about myself.  I am ninety-five. I am also thirteen.  I was obliviated by Gilderoy Lockhart last spring.  I killed Gilderoy Lockhart. My name is Lucretia, and I got revenge, but now I do not know what to do._

 

_Lup suggested this journal.  (Lup is brilliant.) She tells me that I used to be the record keeper on their mission.  That I would write in one journal with each hand. That I used to be shy like I am now, but spent a year on my own in hell and came out... different._

 

_I am no longer different._

 

_Anyway, Lup suggested that I write in order to try to figure out who I am again.  I don’t think I’m the same shy Lucretia that the rest of the IPRE left Tosun V with seventy-three years ago.  I don’t think that she would have killed a man. I didn’t think I would have, either, until I did._

  


The cool breeze ruffled the pages of her journal.  Every few minutes, Davenport glanced over to where she sat. As though he was reassuring himself that she was still there.

  


_It’s strange, being the odd one out.  (In some ways, it feels like I always have been.)  I am the only one out of seven who got hit with a curse.  I am the one who cannot remember this marvelous, miraculous journey that my old journals tell me about.  I’m the one who doesn’t get the inside jokes._

 

\-------------------------------

  


“--cretia, you should go to bed, it’s getting late.”

 

“I’m fine, Captain.  Thank you, though.”

 

“Are you sure?”  His voice is worried, almost, like that of a parent.

 

“Yes.”  

 

“We’re going to be there early, tomorrow--”

 

“I’m just looking at the stars for a little bit.  And journaling.”

 

“Alright, then. I just...”

 

“Hm?”

 

“I just want everyone to be okay.”

 

“Me too.”

 

Lucretia’s not sure what she wants, not anymore.  It was strange, having to redefine every belief and value she’d ever had.  It felt easier, though. She’d read journals and talked to the crew and done everything she could to figure out who she used to be.

  


\-------------------------------

  


_The stars are bright and clear.  I can see why I agreed to fly into them so long ago._

  


\-------------------------------

  


Davenport landed the Starblaster in a new clearing as directed by Headmaster Dumbledore.  This one was much further away from Hogwarts. This was a necessary safety feature, because dementors had been brought to guard the school.

 

Lucretia could tell that the crew didn’t think this was a good idea.  She didn’t, either. A dementor-- a creature that guards prisons and can suck out a person’s soul-- shouldn’t be anywhere near a school for children.

 

(Lucretia didn’t want to know what the dementors did with the soul.  That was necromancy, and more of Barry’s wheelhouse than hers.)

 

They’d been brought to Hogwarts because a mass murderer broke out of the wizarding prison, Azkaban.  His name was Sirius Black, and he killed thirteen people with one curse.

 

(Lucretia found it strange, how this plane reacted over only thirteen people dead.  According to her journals, she’d watched the deaths of millions and billions of lives.)

 

Because of the dementors on the grounds, they will not be able to visit the Starblaster without a Professor with us.  And because only Headmaster Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall, and Professor Snape knew that they were interplanar travellers, it would have to be one of them.

 

They hiked out of the woods and up to the front gate of Hogwarts, Headmaster Dumbledore in tow.  Magnus’s animosity was palpable. He spent the whole time avoiding talking to him, while glaring at the man continuously.  He thinks he is doing a bad job protecting the student body.

 

The others don’t seem to trust him, either, so Lucretia didn’t trust him.  Her memory was stolen, and the six of them were the only ones who did anything about it.  No matter what their pasts were, it was only logical to put her lot in with theirs.

  


\-------------------------------

  


_Cycle 70, Year 3, August 31_

 

_The dementors in person are worse than they are in Headmaster Dumbledore’s explanation.  The others say they remember horrible things, dying over and over again and being turned to stone and dozens of planes consumed by the Hunger._

 

_I don’t remember horrible things.  I remember static._

  


\-------------------------------

  


The sorting feast went unappreciated at the Ravenclaw table.  Yes, they clapped and cheered for their new housemates, but all anyone really cared to talk about was what exactly happened on the train.  For every story Lucretia heard about dementors boarding, there was another one where it was stopped by giant spiders on the tracks. It wasn’t until that evening’s house meeting that the air was cleared.

 

They’d all gathered in the Common Room, lined with bookshelves and topped with stars.  One of the prefects-- Lucretia couldn’t remember her name-- stood on a dias in front of the house.

 

“I’m here to let you all know what happened today,” she said, and the room fell silent.  “Dementors boarded the Hogwarts Express. For those of you who don’t know, they are here for our protection, guarding us from Sirius Black.  They cannot be tricked or snuck past. If you value your souls, I sincerely entreat you to just _not try_.”

 

Someone wolf whistled.  Someone else clapped. The prefect smiled wanly, did a dramatic bow, and sat down.  A string quartet rose to take her place, four sixth year students who wanted a performance venue.  The rest of Ravenclaw was happy to take advantage of their study music, even if they were fond of playing the theme song from some moving scroll franchise called Star Wars.

  


\-------------------------------

  


_Cycle 70, Year 3, September 2_

 

_I rather like writing what is happening while it’s happening.  That way I don’t forget the details. But some of the teachers don’t like it, and sometimes I have to use both my hands for Herbology or eating or petty things like that.  But I can write in the evening, like I am now. That’ll have to do._

 

_I had Ancient Runes today.  The Professor-- Professor Babbling, which is an interesting name-- is very good, and they seem very engaged in their topic.  Lup and Barry are taking it with me. Lup seemed disappointed that we weren’t starting to learn runes yet. Barry seemed almost eerily excited._

 

_Something odd about Barry, though.  He hurried off after class, down towards the Great Hall.  A few minutes later, though, he came sprinting back up, and gave some excuse about seeing the Hufflepuff prefect._

 

_Maybe he was telling the truth, though.  I couldn’t quite tell, but he seems like he’d be a bad liar._

 

_Have I mentioned that that’s something else I don’t like?  They know all my little quirks, how I lick my lips when I’m thinking and look to the left when I lie, but I don’t know any of that for them.  I didn’t think to write it down in the seventy years that I knew them._

  


\-------------------------------

  


Lucretia was in the library between classes, selecting books for a Transfiguration essay, when the librarian approached her.  She had a distinct feeling that she should remember the woman’s name, and was immensely thankful that Madam Pince wore a name tag.

 

“Hello, Ms. Director,” she said in a whisper appropriate of the setting.  “Would you be interested in helping me in the library again this year?”

 

“I’d love to,” Lucretia replied, because the library felt like home.  “I’m sorry, though, I don’t, um, remember helping you before?”

 

Her face softened, and she smiled gently.  “I heard you got obliviated. You’re a strong girl.”

 

“Thank you.”  She didn’t know what else to say.

 

“You helped me shelf and repair books,” Madam Pince continued after a moment of hesitation.  “I also helped you... modify some spells. The spells we use to work with the books are so gentle that they have to be changed, so it’s in my wheelhouse.”

 

Lucretia didn’t know much about herself.  All she’d learned was what her journals had written and what her friends had told her.  But she figured that there was no better person to model herself after than, well-- herself.

 

So if old Lucretia thought it was worth doing, she supposed that new Lucretia did, too.

 

She agreed, and spent the next hour relearning the spell to restore a book’s binding.  There was a different pronunciation for each type of binding, and a different stressed syllable for the century the book was written in.  Lucretia found it fascinating, learning how to modify spells.

 

Perhaps she might learn enough to change Obliviate into something that can restore memories.

 

One could only hope.

  


\-------------------------------

 

_Cycle 70, Year 3, September 4_

 

_My first Muggle Studies class was today.  Magnus is in there, and I don’t think I’ve told him, but I’m very grateful that he’s taking it with me.  It’s so nice to have someone to save you a seat, to grin at you when you walk in._

  
_My old journals describe the seven of us as a “highly unconventional family.”  I can see why. Something about being with them feels..._ right _._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew enjoys some bonding time. Lucretia makes a revelation.

 

“I just  _ can’t  _ believe it,” Lup ranted.  “I can’t! I know he’s an asshole, sure, we all do, but  _ why would he do that _ ?!”

 

Lucretia and Lup turned the corner of the hall, heading downstairs to Charms.  “Who?” she asked.

 

“Snape.”  She practically spat the name.

 

Lucretia’s brow furrowed.  She didn’t remember a lot, but... “Wasn’t he the one teaching you?”

 

“Yes,” Lup said, tone tense with anger.  “And guess what he did. What he fucking  _ did _ !”

 

“Uh...”

 

“He was the biggest asshole to Neville probably  _ ever _ .  I’m done, Creesh, that’s it!  Done!”

 

They hopped over the tile that acted like quicksand.  “He threatened to poison his toad,” she continued. “And so Hermione and me helped him fix his potion so Trevor wouldn’t die, right?  And then he started yelling at  _ us _ .  ‘Foolish Gryffindor learn to live with your consequences’ my  _ ass _ !  Ask for help if you need it, huh, not so hard a concept!”

 

Lucretia swallowed.  She... well. She wasn’t doing too well at following that piece of advice.

 

“So, I’m just not going back.”

 

“Wait, what?”

 

“You heard me, babe.  I’m not gonna work with someone like that.”

 

“But... your classes-- Lup, your extra class!”

 

Lup shrugged as though she had no cares in the world.  “He made his choice, and now I’m making mine. He’ll just have to learn to live with the consequences.”

 

\-------------------------------

 

_ Cycle 70, Year 3, September 25 _

 

_ Is this just a consequence I’m supposed to live with?  If so, what did I do to  _ deserve  _ it?   _

 

_ Lup and I talked about consequences like they were straightforward, a linear graph with a clearly defined slope and intercept.  As though one could find the regression line from point to point and understand what you did, and how to get back to where you were. _

 

_ I’m not sure that applies to me, to all that I’ve lost. _

 

_ But what if it  _ does _?  How can I go back along this line?  Because first we were breaking into Lockhart’s chambers in pursuit of the light, and then it was firing off memory-erasing spells at me. _

 

_ The  _ light _.  That’s not a bad thought. _

  
  


\-------------------------------

 

Using the light to try to change the obliviate spell wasn’t a bad thought at all.  But Lucretia really didn’t have the time to act on it. Because first there was a long essay due in Herbology and then Davenport was acting suspicious, always running ahead or behind her in the corridors, and a million other things piled up.

 

Not all of the stuff she had to do was miserable, though.  She rather liked most of it, enjoyed the feeling of going to class and learning and feeling as though she had actually  _ earned  _ something.

 

And so Lucretia was very excited when they got their first hands-on lesson in Defense Against the Dark Arts.

 

Professor Lupin led the Ravenclaws and the Hufflepuffs out of the classroom, and into the teacher’s break room, where a boggart had apparently taken up residence.

 

A creature that manifested itself as one’s biggest, deepest fear.

 

Lucretia took a deep breath, and leaned against Davenport for support.  He looked up at her, anxious, but she just offered him a thin smile.

 

How was she supposed to explain that this boggart could  _ help her get her memory back _ ?  If it showed her something she was afraid of that she’d forgotten, maybe it’d help her remember more things, too.

 

Lucretia stood in front of the wardrobe, wand raised, hand steady.

 

Lucretia stood in front of the wardrobe as the door creaked open, revealing her boggart.  It was no monster, no long-forgotten enemy.

 

There was nothing there but static.

 

\-------------------------------

 

_ Cycle 70, Year 3, October 5 _

 

_ I don’t think I’m afraid of static.  Maybe it’s covering up something that I  _ am  _ afraid of.  Or perhaps it’s just symbolism that I don’t remember enough to understand. _

 

_ Whenever I try to remember more, to figure out why that is my boggart and not the Hunger that we ran from for decades, I just remember... static. _

 

_ (My head is more static than not at this point.) _

 

\-------------------------------

 

Davenport didn’t tell Lucretia where they were going, just grabbed her hand and pulled her along, grinning like mad.  They finally stopped on the Quidditch pitch, sky streaked with sunset gold above them.

 

“What-- what’s going on?” she panted.

 

He pointed up.  Soaring through the air above them were five figures on broomsticks, maneuvering with various levels of ability.  One flew down next to them, so close that Lucretia could feel the rush of wind.

 

“...Lup?”

 

“Uh, yeah!”  She grinned, swung her legs over the handle of the broomstick so she sat sidesaddle.  “Dav’s got your broom, too. We’re gonna fly!”

 

From his bookbag, Davenport pulled two brooms that were definitely larger than the bag itself.  Lup whistled, long and low. “Nifty trick, Capn’port.”

 

He grinned.  “Charms does have its perks.”

 

Lucretia took the broomstick they offered her.  It’s wood was polished, it’s bristles glistened.  It was beautiful and golden and she had no idea what to do with it.

 

“I... I’m sorry,” she said, hating the way her voice faltered.  “I... I don’t remember, remember how...”

 

“No sweat,” said Lup, hopping down to the ground and grabbing her broomstick out of the air where it hovered.  “I’ll teach you.”

 

\-------------------------------

 

_ Cycle 70, Year 3, October 14 _

 

_ I know that Lup and Barry are very much in love, have been that way for decades, and will probably stay that way forever.  But, well... you can’t blame me for liking her. _

 

_ I’ll never make a move.  She’s happy where she is.  And I’d never ruin our friendship over something so petty.  But Lup, well... she’s  _ Lup _!  She’s fierce and brilliant and doesn’t take no for an answer.  She’s confident and steady in who she is and who she isn’t. _

 

_ What words  _ are  _ there to describe her, though, really? _

 

_ Phantasmal.  Resplendent. _

  
  


\-------------------------------

  
  


Lup was a really good teacher.  She showed Lucretia how to mount, how to secure her feet so she wouldn’t feel like she was about to slide right off the end.

 

Taught her to turn, to rise and lower, to stay steady in the air.

 

“Let’s go for it, Creesh,” she said once she’d run out of stuff to say.  

 

They mounted their brooms in unison, and kicked off from the ground-- Lup hard, Lucretia more gently.  And, together, they rose into the air.

 

“Hell yeah!” Lup crowed, extending a hand for a high-five as they made a slow but steady lap around the pitch.  Lucretia returned the gesture, letting go of her broom very very carefully. “Lookit this  _ babe _ !”

 

From over by one set of goalposts, Magnus shouted, “Fuck yeah Lucy!”

 

“It’s Lucretia!” she shouted back, then glanced over at Lup for a split second.  “Or, or Creesh!”

 

“Fuck yeah!”

 

Someone flew up underneath them, spun to a halt.  Taako, looking almost as happy as he had when Lup had been un-paralyzed the year before.  “Watch this!”

 

And he leapt off his broom.

 

“Taako, no--!” Lucretia shouted, but it was too late, he was gone and he was going to die and it was probably her fault and--

 

He did a flip in the air, and landed on his feet on his broomstick, which had dropped to catch him.  “You can attune your broom to come to you,” he said nonchalantly from a dozen yards below them. “No biggie.”

 

“Hell yeah, lil bro!” shouted Lup, swooping down to high-five him as though he hadn’t just defied death.

 

\-------------------------------

  
  


The rules of Quidditch got sloppier as the sun went down.  Taako, tiring of chasing the quaffle, summoned it directly to his hand, and plopped it into a goalpost that may or may not have been on the wrong end.

 

“Magic allowed!” shouted Davenport with evident glee, and suddenly there was a hundred thousand quaffles and snitches buzzing through the air all around them.  Lucretia panicked for a moment, but then--  _ show time _ .

 

She couldn’t fly very fast or very well.  She didn’t know a lot of technical spells.  But Lucretia had magic in her bones, had spells bursting from the end of her wand when she thought about it.  She couldn’t levitate a feather or unlock a door with a spoken word, because it felt foreign on her tongue, wrong.  But telling the feather to lift? The door to open? It felt natural.

 

And nothing felt more natural than the shimmering shield spell that erupted from the end of her wand, flying through the fake balls and players and centering around Davenport.

 

And suddenly the illusions were gone.

 

Lucretia laughed-- airy, breathless with the relief of something she wasn’t sure would work-- as she peered closer at her shield.  All the illusions were trapped inside with him.

 

“Woah!” shouted Lup from across the pitch.  “Bad  _ ass _ !”

 

She grinned, and in a fit of bravery, yelled back, “You know it!”

 

Magnus chucked the real quaffle at her, and she gripped it tight, so tight, holding onto her broom for dear life as she dodged Merle’s bumbling arms, and then Barry, and--

 

Taako snatched it out from the crook of her elbow and raced off, his laughter mingling with her own as they streaked across the pitch.

  
  


\-------------------------------

 

_ Cycle 70, Year 3, October 20 _

 

_ If I could remember the last seventy years, would I still be as scared of dying?  Would I still scream every time somebody falls? I know we will all reset, but even so.  Perhaps it’s muscle memory that makes flirting with death so appealing for them. _

  
  


\-------------------------------

 

The first visit to Hogsmeade was fast approaching, and it was all anybody could talk about.  It was the first visit for the third years, and they were chock full of stories from older siblings and friends and rumors.

 

The most pressing to Lucretia, though, was the permission forms.  They’d simply... never gotten them.

 

She looked back through her journals.  Paged through the rattiest one, the one with torn pages and bloodstains.  The tale of the Year of the Judges. Of her year alone. Of what she’d done to survive.

 

She could handle talking to a teacher about a paperwork mixup.

 

\-------------------------------

 

_ Cycle 70, Year 3, October 22 _

 

_ I’m fairly certain that I have anxiety.  I mean, most everyone does, but I think I’ve got it, well, worse.  I don't know the exact diagnosis? Don’t really know what to do about it-- hell, I don’t know what I  _ did  _ about it.  I didn’t write it down, if I’d found something that helped. _

 

_ I don’t think I’m supposed to be this afraid all the time. _

 

\-------------------------------

 

Well, she thought she could handle it, until she was standing in the hallway outside of McGonagall’s office biting her nails and trying to work up the courage to go inside.

 

Lucretia didn’t know how long she stood there breathless, but finally the Professor herself came out.

 

“Oh, hello Ms. Director,” she said, seeming faintly surprised to find her there.  “Can I help you?’’   
  


“Oh, um, yes.  Yes, please.” She fumbled over her words like too-big shoes.  “I was wondering about the, um, paperwork for Hogsmeade? We never received the forms?”

 

Her face softened.  “Yes, of course. Don’t worry about it.”  She dropped her voice to a whisper. “Since you’re all adults, I don’t think it will be necessary to have from you.  And if Professor Flitwick asks, you’ve already turned it in to me.”

 

Lucretia could breathe again.  “I, thank you.”

 

“It’s not a problem.”

  
  


 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halloween arrives.

 

Hogsmeade morning dawned bright and clear, with frost lingering on the windows.  Lucretia bundled up, digging through her trunk to find the warmest clothing she had (and had subsequently forgotten about).

 

She ended up in approximately six sweaters, a coat, four scarves (two of which were pride: ace and lesbian), two sets of socks, and a hat.

 

Davenport raised his eyebrows when she made it down to the Common Room.  “Sure you’ll be warm enough?”

 

“You’re one to talk,” she retorted, and felt the familiar clench of fear before he smiled at her.  Indeed, he was wearing a too-big coat, snow boots, and at least two hats. 

 

“Hey,” he said, as they made their way down to the Great Hall to meet up with the others.  “I get cold easily.”

 

“Hey,” Lucretia mimicked, teasing him gently, “So do I.”

 

His laughter echoed down the staircase.

 

“Ha ha ha!” shouted Magnus from the bottom in reply.

 

“Oh god, please don’t let him bring this back,” muttered Davenport as they made their way down to greet them.

 

“Lookin’ good, Creesh!” said Lup, slinging an arm around her shoulders.  She wore a pan pride flag, as well. “Pride for  _ days _ !”

 

Lucretia smiled shyly.  Lup’s arm was a warm weight, constant and steady and firm.  She moved away all too soon.

 

Davenport was looking around nervously.  “Uh, crew? Where’d Magnus go?”

 

She couldn’t see him, either.  She didn’t know what Davenport had been referring to, when he didn’t want Magnus to bring something back--

 

“MAGNUS!” Magnus roared, leaping out from behind a statue and landing right behind Davenport, who jumped at least a foot.

 

“Stop  _ doing  _ that!” he shouted, trying to disguise the way he hadn’t gotten used to it in half a century.

 

“Aw, c’mon Capn’port,” he said as they were shuffled closer to the doors.  “You’re no fun.”

 

“No, I’m just someone who prefers to not get jumpscared all the time,” he retorted.

 

Lucretia had been shoved up against Taako in the chaos of a couple hundred students all trying to get out.  “Hey, what’re they talking about?!” she shouted over the din.

 

He turned her way, adjusting his Slytherin scarf.  “What?!”

 

“What’re they talking about?!”  She gestured at Magnus and Davenport.

 

His eyebrows lifted in understanding, and he went up on his tiptoes to reach his ear.  (She was  _ taller _ ?  When had that happened?)  “Magnus spent all of Beach Year doing that to people,” he said loudly.  “And he still won’t fuckin’ stop!”

 

That would make sense.

 

She gave Taako a thumbs up to show that she’d heard him.  He gave her a thumbs down and a smile.

 

\-------------------------------

 

_ Cycle 70, Year 3, October 31 _

 

_ We had to walk past the dementors to get to Hogsmeade Village.  My head filled with static the last time we passed them, but this time it... didn’t.  Well, it did. But only partially. _

 

_ There was static, but not as much.  I could make out faint figures, just the edges between light and dark of what I should be remembering.  I couldn’t even tell what it was supposed to be. _

 

_ But this is something.  Something good, I’m not so sure, but it’s certainly something.   _

 

_ I can  _ half-way remember  _ when I’m around the dementors.  And maybe the more exposure I have, the more I’ll remember. _

 

_ I can’t help but think, though, they do remind you of your worst memories.  Do I really  _ want  _ to remember? _

 

_ Back to the dementors, though.  They seemed to affect my friends much more than the other Hogwarts students.  Taako and Lup, already walking next to each other, linked arms almost frantically.  Barry grabbed onto Magnus’s arm, and Magnus grabbed him right back. Davenport winced, and Merle took his hand.  I almost felt left out, simply because I can’t remember what hurts them so badly-- and isn’t that a strange pity party to be privy to-- until Magnus hugged me with his other arm, pulling me into the group. _

 

\-------------------------------

  
  


Hogsmeade was crowded with Hogwarts students, all trying to get to their favorite shops and stores before the day was over.  The sun had risen, taking away some of the chill, but Lucretia was still glad for her getup.

 

“Hey, cool scarf,” said one of the Slytherin girls to her.  She had long dark hair, and a pretty smile. Lucretia could feel herself blushing.

 

“Uh, thanks,” she stuttered out as they kept walking.

 

Taako poked her in the side, eyes alight.  “When Daphne talks to you and not me, you  _ know  _ something’s goin’ on.  What’s shakin’, Creesh?”

 

“Oh.”  She adjusted her ace scarf.  “Um. Nothing.”

 

He gasped, flung his braid over his shoulder.  “Lucy’s got a  _ crush _ !”

 

“Hey!” she protested.  

 

“No, no, it’s cool,” he insisted.  “I like Daphne. And she said she likes your scarf, soooo...”

 

Lucretia groaned, tugged her hat down until it practically covered her eyes.  “I get the feeling you’ve done this a lot of times before.”

 

He nodded, seeming very pleased with himself.  “It’s nice not  _ always  _ being the biggest gay disaster, y’know?”

 

“I don’t deserve this...”

 

“Yeah, you do.”

 

“Fake news from Taako, more at 6!”  Half-grinning with her own comeback, Lucretia ran through the crowd to fall into step with Magnus.

 

\-------------------------------

 

_ Cycle 70, Year 3, October 31 _

 

_ Taako is wrong.  I’m definitely not a gay disaster.  It’s not my fault that Daphne’s cute.  Or Lup, for that matter. _

 

\-------------------------------

  
  


Butterbeer was probably the best thing Lucretia’d ever tasted.  She’d drink up a whole lake if she could.

 

As it was, they couldn’t afford a lake, so she made sure to make her bottle last.  She still had half of it left when they headed back out.

 

“Hey, Creesh,” said Magnus, bounding up to her like a puppy.  He held a giant bag brimming with Honeydukes candy. “D’you still want the rest of your butterbeer?”

 

She held it close to her chest.  “It’s my firstborn child.”

 

“So... yes?”

 

She took a swig in reply, and they laughed together in easy camaraderie.

 

\-------------------------------

 

Costumes for the Halloween feast were varied, some more so than others.  Magnus dressed up as Taako, complete with heels and Lup’s help with makeup.  Lup and Barry had dressed up as their lich forms-- billowing red robes and face charmed to look like a skull.  It was spooky, Lucretia thought, but probably didn’t make a lot of sense to the other Hogwarts students.

 

Merle was dressed up like a daisy.  Davenport was dressed up like a gardener, and they stuck together the whole night.  Lucretia sketched them in her journal, and couldn’t stop smiling. They were cute, the way they seemed to balance each other out perfectly.

 

Taako was dressed up as a chef, and was quite in his element, handing out scones and cooking advice to anybody who would listen (and quite a few who wouldn’t).

 

Lucretia herself hadn’t known what to dress up as.  Eventually, she’d gone to the Ravenclaw library, and began flipping mindlessly through books for any inspiration at all.

 

In the end, she found herself in a book of magical birds, each more fantastic than the last.

 

She’d always thought of fire, of strength, as Lup’s things.  But the way her face lit up when she saw Lucretia’s costume-- well, it made her wonder if it didn’t fit her just as well.

 

Lucretia wore phoenix wings on her back and fire in her smile.

 

\-------------------------------

 

She left the Halloween feast full and happy, side by side with Davenport.  The moon had risen, and it filtered in through the tall windows that lined the staircase to the Ravenclaw tower.  The fading embers of her illusioned wings cast soft shadows on the floor.

 

Their house chattered quietly, mostly content to let their weary feet carry them up the stairs towards bed.  They’d made it all the way into their dorms, even into their pajamas, when the alarm came.

 

McGonagall’s voice boomed from the walls, the ceiling, the floor.  It was deep and resounding and made Lucretia leap onto her chest, pulling out her wand in panic.

 

“All students will follow their prefects to the Great Hall  _ immediately _ .”

 

Lucretia grabbed her robe and her slippers and her wand.  Her journal and her pen and her courage.

 

And they were off.

 

Ravenclaw tiptoed through the moonlit corridors that had seemed mystic and now appeared menacing.  Nobody was sure what the threat was, but whispers ran rampant. The most popular-- Sirius Black.

 

Lucretia gripped tight to her wand, and didn’t relax until they were safely ensconced in cushy purple sleeping bags and the promise that everything would be alright.

 

The lights were out and the Weasley Prefect was telling everybody to be quiet and go to bed, but she could work with that.

 

Lucretia pulled the sleeping bag over her head, bent her legs until she was scrunched up into a ball at the bottom of it.  She made sure that her pillow blocked any light that may leak out, and cast Lumos.

 

And lying there, curled up into a ball in a stuffy sleeping bag in the middle of a hall with a few hundred other children, Lucretia pulled out her journal.

 

\-------------------------------

 

_ Cycle 70, Year 3, October 31 _

 

_ I am afraid. _

  
  


 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new mystery unfolds.

Lucretia didn’t learn the full story until the next day, when Magnus plopped down by her in Muggle Studies and leaned furtively over.

 

“So, Sirius Black broke into the tower last night,” he said, eyes wide.

 

She glanced up at him.  “Wh-- Magnus, please tell me this is a joke.”

 

“No!  He slashed up the Fat Lady’s portrait, I saw it, and Peeves said it was him!”

 

“Who...”

 

“Oh, the poltergeist.  You haven’t run into him yet?”

 

She shook her head.

 

“Well, count yourself lucky, he’s fond of pranks like dropping ink on people’s heads and throwing water balloons while it’s snowing.”

 

“Back to Sirius Black?  Why did he break in? Why didn’t the dementors stop him?  Why--”

 

“I dunno, Lucy--”

 

“No--”

 

“Sorry, Lucretia--”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“But  _ then  _ the only portrait who’d take the job was Sir Cadogan!  The crazy one who likes changing the password every hour and challenging people to duels!”

 

“Can you duel a portrait?”

 

Magnus shrugged.  “You could try?!”

 

Professor Burbage cleared her throat, and glanced down at the two of them.  They silenced obediently, and Lucretia pulled out her notebook. She had a plane to learn about.

 

\-------------------------------

 

Muggles weren’t nearly as interesting at the wizarding world.  Much of their technology was similar to that of Tosun V, but without the magic.  The only part Lucretia particularly enjoyed was their entertainment-- moving scrolls and a hundred thousand fantasy books and music that would play at the press of a button.

 

She could see the appeal in a world that took one click to return to.  She could understand why someone might want to escape.

 

Lucretia wanted to escape herself, half the time.  The half of the time when she forgot, and was alone, and was hurting.  When nothing made sense and the story she’d found herself plunged into the middle of was too confusing to force an answer from.

 

But the other half of the time, she wouldn’t trade her little family for the world.

 

(Decades later, she would do just that.)

 

\-------------------------------

 

_ Cycle 70, Year 3, November 3 _

 

_ I haven’t had any more success with the dementors.  Nobody wants to let me near them, and every time I try to go for a walk or hang around near the entrances to the school, a professor will swoop in and shoo me away.  They’re all afraid of what will happen if I’m near them too long-- I’m afraid of what won’t happen if I’m away from them. _

 

\-------------------------------

 

Lucretia was no stranger to fear.

 

Even in her lost state, missing almost a century of memories, she knew the feeling.  Could taste it, could feel it in her shaking hands and the way she could never quite get enough air.

 

The castle talked of nothing but Sirius Black for the next week, and their incessant chatter wasn’t loud enough to hide how afraid they all were, too.

 

But Lucretia wasn’t afraid, not then.  She’d survived-- not survived, per se, but made it through-- seventy years of the Hunger.  Seventy years of desperate plans and deaths and waking up the next year to try again. (Lucretia didn’t remember this, not then.)  But Lucretia had also survived losing everything she’d ever known. Had tracked and fought the basilisk. Defeated Lockhart-- an honor that still stung.  She knew fear.

 

He killed thirteen people with one curse?

 

She could protect that many people without even blinking an eye.

\-------------------------------

 

_ Cycle 70, Year 3, November 7 _

 

_ I don’t think I’m in any specific danger, not really.  Not from Sirius Black, at least. I’ve done some research with Madam Pince’s help, combing through the old newspaper archives.  She at least sees better than to censor them from me. _

 

_ (There’s a modified version of the summoning charm that can sort for  _ words _!  She tells me that I designed it two years ago.  I wouldn’t know, but I’m certainly happy to use it now.) _

 

_ Sirius Black betrayed the Potters, and speculation goes-- at least, according to Madam Pince, who has become an invaluable source of information (see: gossip) he’s now after Harry Potter.  Harry’s in my year, and was with us in the Chamber. He seems decent enough. _

 

_ I’d hate to see him hurt. _

 

_ Or, if Sirius Black has his way, dead. _

 

\-------------------------------

 

“Ms. Director,” Madam Pince said, looking up with a stern eye when Lucretia walked over to her.  “Can I help you?”

 

She set a book down gently on the desk.  “Yes, please. This binding is made of some sort of magical tanned leather-- possibly griffin?-- by the M(agi)cElroy company.  How do I change the stasis spell to work with magically provided sources?”

 

The librarian’s face softened.  “It’s a process similar to the muggle-bound materials, plastic and so forth.  Double the second syllable, and revert the second half-- rounding up, mind you-- back into iambic pentameter if necessary.”

 

“Oh,” she said, glancing back down at the book.  “Second half for the second half of the world knowledge, as it were?”

 

Pince nodded.  “Sharp. It’s getting dark in here, Ms. Director, can you light the sconces?  And then bring any more work you have up front. The Restricted Section tends to get nasty after sundown.”

 

Lucretia nodded.  She left the book under Madam Pince’s watchful gaze, and made a round of the library, pausing at the torches on the walls to light them.

 

(She was glad the librarian wasn’t watching her do so.  She didn’t know the incantation, just knew that she thought about Lup-- fiery and brilliant and bold-- and fire was produced.)

 

Library now lit with candlelight, Lucretia gathered a stack of books from the edge of the Restricted Section, all of them with creased pages or weathered covers.  Some carefully applied repair charms would mend most of the damage, but sometimes they were too delicate to even touch. Those went under stasis, to be handled safely.

 

There came a sudden, quiet groan from one of the bookshelves.  She made the mistake of glancing backwards-- arms full of books, no wand out-- and looking into the Restricted Section.

 

It was fire-lit, backed by a brilliant display of the setting sun.  And it quite seemed to her as though a face were staring out of it.

 

“Come out of there,” she said, crouching to set down the books without breaking eye contact with... the Section.  

 

“Oh?” asked a voice from within the Restricted Section.  The voice was distinct, in that it  _ wasn’t  _ distinct.  It was toneless and genderless, neither high nor low nor gruff nor soaring.  “And why should I?”

 

“You’ll get hurt,” she replied, pulling out her wand, and squinting at the deep stacks of books.  Dare she enter?

 

“I don’t think so,” the voice replied, and gave something akin to a laugh.  “I’ll be fine.”

 

“Madam Pince,” Lucretia called, but received no answer from the librarian.

 

“Oh, don’t worry about her, Lucretia,” said the voice.  “She’s perfectly fine!”

 

She stepped closer, eyes angry.  “What’d you do to her? You’re  _ her  _ monster!  She protects you!”

 

“I did nothing to her,” it replied, sounding almost... offended.  “If anything, I’d be worried about yourself. And besides, I’m not her monster.  I’m not even a monster.”

 

“Then identify yourself.”  Her tone was harsh, her words brash, but her thoughts were anything but.  Lucretia looked around and around and around the row of books and the dark section it led into, where the voice came from.  The sun and sconces flickered the light-- wait.

 

No, they didn’t.

 

The light didn’t flicker.  In fact, when Lucretia looked behind her, the sconce’s fire didn’t move.  Almost as if it were in... stasis.

 

“Or perhaps I am,” said the voice quickly.  “And you should turn around now, and leave this section.”

 

“No, I don’t think you are,” said Lucretia, carried forward by the sense of... something.  That this voice wasn’t quite right.

 

“Go,” it commanded, sounding something like... scared?  “Go, and do not come back, Lucretia! This is my realm at night!”

 

Something beyond the voice crashed with a boom.  She jumped, grabbed the stack of books, and hurried out of the Restricted Section.  The lights resumed their dancing.

 

Lucretia made up a lie about feeling ill, left the books with Madam Pince, and hurried to the Ravenclaw Tower as fast as she could.  She had the feeling that, in Lup’s words, shit was about to go down.

 

\-------------------------------

 

_ Cycle 70, Year 3, November 11 _

 

_ I looked it up in Ravenclaw’s library.  There’s no given mention of a monster in the Restricted Section, only students warning that books taken out of turn or without permission can get... fiesty. _

 

_ There are rumors, though.  Of a group of students-- or, a group of somethings-- that occasionally claims the Restricted Section for a night.  None of these are substantiated by Madam Pince.  _

 

_ Perhaps I stumbled upon one of the meetings.  I believe they had cast a modified stasis charm over the Restricted Section.  Based on how not even light entering could be seen changing, I hypothesize that it encaptures an area.  One is able to leave at will, but not enter. It was just my luck that I was in the area when the charm was cast. _

 

_ And the voice I heard, well-- I’ve at least got a sort-of answer for that.  There’s a charm that makes your voice perfectly indistinct. And that would be that, most likely.  It’s only a fourth-year charm, so it could be more than half the school meeting there. _

 

_ There’s an interesting diary account of a sixth year a few decades ago who happened upon one of these meetings.  He goes into great detail about the “loud, abhorrent, god-detested sounds” and the “monster I am sure dwells within”.  Personally, I think he was prone to an errant imagination. No monster could cast such a voice-disguising charm. _

 

_ Which leads me to the conclusion-- there is a group of people meeting within the Restricted Section under a stasis charm, without the knowledge of Madam Pince. _

 

_ Which, in turn, leads me to the question-- who are they, what are they doing, and what do they want? _

  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucretia gets some answers.

Perhaps it was all the time she’d spent around Magnus.  Perhaps it was the want to _learn_ something, anything at all that could help.  Perhaps it was the same curiosity that drove Lucretia to the stars in the first place.

 

Regardless of her motivation, it was fading fast as she sat propped up against a bookshelf in the Restricted Section the next week.  The books whispered behind her. The sun had long since set, and Pince vacated the library. In that moment, she was well and truly alone.

 

“Please go away, Lucretia,” said the same indistinct voice, and she started, wand whipping around.

 

“Come out,” she told it.  “I don’t want to hurt you, but you need to come out.”

 

It sighed.  “No, please, I-- just _go away,_ okay?  You’re not invited.  Life will be a lot easier for you if you just forget you saw these meetings at all.”

 

She straightened her back, rising to her feet.  “Fuck that. Not until you tell me who you are and what you’re doing in my library.”

 

“Don’t you understand?” hissed the voice, quieter now.  “We can’t _trust_ you, Lucretia.  You’re a transfer student, you’re a Ravenclaw.  We don’t know enough about you. We can’t let you in.”

 

“We?”

 

It cursed, under its breath, and Lucretia cracked a smile.  “Yes. We. Now please, just leave.”

 

“No.”

 

Lucretia didn’t know where her stubbornness was coming from.  But she’d never been one to give up on something, and-- dare she say so?-- she felt like being a little braver.   _Wanted_ to be braver, wanted to be on par with Lup and the crew.

 

Maybe she wanted to feel like she fit in.

 

“ _Please_ ,” it begged. “This is your last chance!  You need to _go_ , Lucretia, _go_ \--”

 

The voice broke off abruptly.

 

“Who’s there?” Lucretia called again, turning her wand over in her hands, over and over.  It was getting harder to breathe.

 

“I could ask the same of you,” said the same voice, and yet Lucretia could swear it was a different speaker.  “Why don’t you come forward, then?”

 

Her footsteps pounded the carpet and her wand lit her path as Lucretia wound her way through the maze of bookshelves that made up the endlessly confusing Restricted Section.  Some of the books reached out to snag at her clothing, but a glare and stern word quickly turned them away. They’d gotten used to her.

 

And then there was light.

 

\-------------------------------

 

Lucretia stood in a open area, surrounded by bookshelves that seemed to have been pushed together for that purpose.  A library table sat in the middle, surrounded by maybe a dozen people. Try as she might to focus on their faces-- on any of their defining characteristics-- Lucretia felt her eyes just... slip right past.

 

“Who are you?” she demanded again.

 

One of them moved to the front.  “That is a question for us to ask, Ravenclaw,” they said.  “You are intruding here, not us.”

 

“It’s not your library.”

 

There was a murmur through the group.

 

“And neither is it yours,” said the speaker.  “What is your name?”

 

She didn’t reply.  Was this what the others had felt like, in the year of the Judges?  Surrounded on all sides in a place they’d chosen to go?

 

“Lucretia Director,” provided one of the people at the table, in the same monotone voice as the speaker.  “Third year Ravenclaw. Transfer student from America, blood status unknown. Friends: Youknow-Fromtivi twins, Burnsides, Davenport, Highchurch, Bluejeans.”

 

“So few from her own house?”

 

“So it appears.”

 

“Who _are_ you?” she asked, practically shouting, as she levelled her wand at the chest of the speaker.

 

“You’ve got spunk,” they said, almost admirably.  “Perhaps you’d fit well. But we’ll have to see, won’t we.  Lots of Gryffindor friends, there.”

 

“I asked you a question.”  Lucretia had adopted a tone that wasn’t Magnus, wasn’t Lup, wasn’t anybody’s but her own.  Dark, cold, and dangerous. The voice of a person people would call Madam and would never question.  “And I would like an answer. Who are you?”

 

The figures at the table muttered between themselves.  The speaker tilted their head. “Well, Ms. Director. You’ve got more to you than we’d thought.  I suppose we are just... a group of concerned individuals.”

 

“Ugh, just stop it,” said one of the table figures, standing up.  “I’ll vet for her.”

 

“If you say so,” the speaker said, and raised their wand.  Lucretia started, a shield spell blooming in front of her-- but all they had done was remove the blocking of their faces, their voices.

 

A tall Slytherin boy stood in front of her.  Indeed, a gaggle of students-- most wearing Slytherin colors-- had gathered around the table.

 

“What’s this?” she asked, not dropping her shield.

 

“Hi, Lucretia,” said the speaker, having the decency to at least look a little abashed.  “I’m Marcus Flint.”

 

He held out a hand for her to shake.  She didn’t.

 

“And what’re you doing here?”

 

Someone seated at the table scooted their chair back, stood-- Daphne Greengrass.  “We’re here for a lot of reasons, Lucretia, and you’ll find a lot more answers if you’d sit down and maybe drop the spell.”

 

She did, gratefully sinking into the seat Daphne offered her.  Marcus sat at the end of the table, giving her a chance to glance around.  Theodore Nott. A boy she thought might be Blaise Zabini. A few more upper-year Slytherins.  An older Hufflepuff. The Ravenclaw prefect, what was her name-- Penelope Clearwater, that was it.

 

“So, welcome aboard, Lucretia,” said Marcus.  “Let’s start with a bit of an explanation. I suppose we owe you that much.  I-- I’ve really got to start at the beginning, don’t I?”

 

“Transfer student,” Penelope supplied.

 

He nodded as though that made perfect sense.  “Well, as you may know, wizarding Britain has been stuck in the middle of a long-ended war for a very long time.  And the Dark Lord, as we all know from Dumbledore and Potter’s escapades, has returned.”

 

“And why does this bring you to the Restricted Section in the middle of the night?”

 

He held up a finger, yet smiled.  “I’m getting there. Anyway, everyone here is put into a bit of a conundrum by that circumstance.  Many of us have parents aligned with the Dark Lord, but would prefer to... sit this one out, as it were.”

 

“So we’re here,” Penelope clarified, smiling gently as Lucretia, “because we need to keep each other safe.  We’re all playing a very dangerous game-- we’re walking through the fire, trying not to get burned. The Dark Lord has returned, or is about to.  We need to be safe from both him, and from the Order.”

 

“The Order of the Phoenix,” whispered Daphne.  “Light side. Dumbledore runs it.”

 

Lucretia was grateful for the explanation.

 

“Anyway,” continued the Ravenclaw, “These are almost... prep meetings, I suppose.  Most of us have to play a facade-- a dutiful daughter, a dedicated student, a child devoted to the Dark Lord’s cause-- the rest of the time.  We’re the middle ground of a war that’s going to happen whether we like it or not.”

 

“So what’re you preparing?  Spells, attacks... an escape plan?”

 

“Something like that,” Marcus admitted.  “More than anything, this is a place to... let down your guard a little.  Get help with blending in, with the desperate struggle to pretend. This is a place to not be so alone.”

 

“And maybe it’ll change during the war,” said the Hufflepuff.  “But for now, we’re just... neutral.”

 

“Neutral.”  Lucretia repeated the word.  It felt... strange, but not foreign.  Like an old friendship-- changed, but still very much in place.  Neutral was a word, was a side, that she could live with.

 

“We choose not to take a stand,” added a fourth year Slytherin.  “We morally can’t stand with our parents. We morally can’t stand against them-- they’re our _family_ .  So this is the biggest choice we’ve ever been given, and _damn_ if I’m not taking it!”

 

“Daphne vetted for you,” said Marcus.  “So you need to keep this _very much a secret_.  If you don’t, it won’t end just badly for you... but also for her.”

 

“Oh.”  She turned to Daphne.  “I’m sorry, you didn’t need to--”

 

“I wanted to.”

 

Her smile was one of the prettiest things Lucretia’d ever seen.

 

\-------------------------------

 

_Cycle 70, Year 3, November 14_

 

_So, I think I just accidentally joined a cult.  Or perhaps a faction. Or perhaps a club. I’m not quite certain._

 

_They’re unerringly neutral, in this battle between the Dark Lord and the Order of the Phoenix they’re certain is about to take place.  I can’t fault their logic-- stuck between fighting their parents or doing things they morally cannot allow? It seems they have chosen the best possible path for themselves._

 

 _What I don’t understand, though, is how willing they were to allow me in on their secret.  Sure, Daphne vetted for me, but what made_ me _special enough to let in on this... group?_

 

_I doubt it’s my winning, extroverted personality._

 

_It’s strange, though.  Fucking strange. I'm part of a literal secret group, kept hidden to preserve the wellbeing of these students.  And now I’ve got a secret to keep. One to protect._

 

_Is it strange, then, to feel... happy?  I’m still having a panic attack, I know-- can’t breathe, too shallow-- but I’ve got a strange feeling of euphoria._

 

 _I’m_ part _of something.  They_ chose _me._

 

\-------------------------------

 

_Oh shit.  Shit shit shittttt._

 

_I’m neutral, now, I guess.  Right? Right. Yeah, I’m neutral.  Sworn to it. For my safety and for Daphne’s and the safety of every student in that gathering._

 

_But here’s the problem-- well, there’s more than one problem._

 

_First, I don’t even know if there’s going to be a conflict.  In that case, this is a lot of fuss over nothing. But more importantly, second-- if there is a conflict, my crew isn’t going to see it as not our problem.  (Probably won’t even understand why I have to be neutral! I have to protect these kids!) But Lup, especially-- Lup’s going to want to fight for what she thinks is right._

 

 _And she’s going to_ hate _that I’m not.  Even if I’m not fighting for what she deems is wrong..._

 

_This is stupid._

 

_There’s not even a war yet._

 

_If anything, I just joined a support group for people who feel out of place._

 

_That’s it._

 

_Lup’s not going to hate me._

 

_She’s not._

 

_Is she?_

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this, wasn't sure I liked it, then went-- hell, why not? So yes, it's getting a little outside of Harry Potter canon, but what can I say? Lucretia's a lot more observant than Harry, and it makes sense she'd run into different adventures than he.
> 
> Anyway, drop a comment or a kudos if you're feeling so inclined! Thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fateful Quidditch game. A club where Lucretia finds a second home.

There was no blood pact to sign.  No matching tattoo. No gold coin that burned whenever they called for you.  Indeed, as far as Lucretia could tell, the little group of neutral students was just that-- a group.  She’d questioned them about it, that night. Asked them what they were doing to protect themselves. Asked why they were so _certain_ that a conflict was brewing.  Asked what made them so afraid of it that they felt the need to prepare for neutrality so far in advance.

 

Their answers... varied.

 

Marcus told her about the way they all learned shielding spells, the way they’d taught them to some of the younger kids in their houses.  Quietly, out of the way.

 

(It seemed that were the motto for this whole group.  Preparing quietly, out of the way. Taking a stand in the only way they could.)

 

They were stocking up on potions, he told her.  They were saving their money. They were preparing for a world in which either side could win.

 

But more than physical preparations were the mental ones.  Every student in the group excelled at their classes. (“We don’t know if we’ll get to finish school if things break bad soon,” Marcus explained, looking up from his advanced Charms book that definitely wasn’t a sixth year text.  “We need to learn all we can. You’re a Ravenclaw, surely you can understand that.”)

 

They made allies, too, carefully calculated spreadsheets of people who could be counted on to help.  They made plans-- if the castle is attacked, here’s the Floo. Here’s an apparition point. Here’s a place to hide if you’ve got no other options.

 

When Lucretia asked Penelope, her answers were... much more _calculating_.  “Dumbledore says the Dark Lord has returned,” she told Lucretia confidently.  “And my parents... believe the same. I’m going to graduate this year, and my options are to get married or to join the fight.”

 

“...oh.”

 

Penelope shrugged, although something in her dark eyes told Lucretia that she wasn’t as fine with it as she seemed.  “I’m here because I’m going to need every bit of help I can get to avoid those.”

 

One of the Slytherin prefects-- Gemma-- told yet another story.  “I’ve got a little brother,” she said, “He’s just a second year. I don’t want him to get caught up in this mess.  He doesn’t deserve to be a Death Eater. And neither do I.”

 

“So it sounds to me,” Lucretia summarized, “As though you guys are the light side to the Dark side, as it were.  Protecting siblings and preparing defense spells doesn’t exactly sound... _neutral_.”

 

Daphne smiled, and laughed a little.  “You’re quite right, Lucretia. We’re the gray spot in the middle.  There’s a reason we call ourselves No Man’s Land.”

 

\-------------------------------

 

Her time at No Man’s Land fell into a pattern.  She’d arrive after dinner, with her bag of homework and extra study topics and questions.  There was an unspoken seating arrangement. Lucretia sat between Daphne and Theo, across the table from Penelope.

 

There was a rigid sort of formality-- at least at first.  When everyone stayed in their seats, and exchanged long, silent glances. 

 

But, night by night, meeting by meeting, the ice fractured and fragmented and finally split.

 

“You’re not a pureblood,” Daphne said to Lucretia one stormy Tuesday evening.  Only a few others were there, and they were all busy talking among themselves or buried in textbooks.

 

Her breath caught in her throat.  Could she trust--

 

Lucretia took one more look at Daphne’s caramel brown eyes.  Her dark, twisting smile. Of course she could.

 

“No, I’m not.”

 

The Slytherin nodded.  “Makes sense. I’m going to teach you the signals, the ones we all developed at tea parties and socials and things.  So we could talk without, y’know, talking.”

 

“Sure.”

 

Daphne scooted her chair closer to the table, rested her chin on her closed fist.  “This one means ‘I’m bored.’”

 

Lucretia copied her.

 

She nodded approvingly, then crossed her arms across her chest, one pinky out of her fist.  “This one means ‘Cause a distraction.’”

 

“Did you often have cause to use that?”

 

Daphne smiled.  “Sometimes it was that we’d spilled the tea and didn’t want to get a tongue-lashing.  Other times we’d neglected to do our embroidery or such. It pretty much means-- I’m in trouble, find a way to either get me out of it or distract the person.”

 

She uncrossed her arms, let her hands go limp in her lap, thumbs intertwined.  “This one means, ‘Get me out of here.’ For if there’s an emergency, or unwanted attention.”

 

“...I,” Lucretia faltered.  “We’re only thirteen.”

 

Daphne leveled her an even glance.  “I’m aware. Are you telling me you haven’t had to deal with it?”

 

True, Lucretia was decades older than her, but-- “...unfortunately.”

 

She rested a hand on Lucretia’s arm, looked closely into her eyes.  Lucretia could feel herself blushing, but all Daphne said was, “This means ‘Emergency.’”

 

“Good to know.”

 

They continued their lessons, and Daphne kept laughing, and Lucretia kept blushing.  It was a place she never wanted to leave.

 

\-------------------------------

 

The weather took a turn for the worse.  Rain lashed at the castle almost constantly.  The basement bathrooms flooded. Herbology was cancelled because the pathway there had become a sinkhole of mud.

 

Lucretia loved it.  It was the perfect excuse to wear all of the sweaters she’d found inside her trunk.  A reason to layer up with flannels and scarves and robes and fuzzy socks. Feel-good clothing.

 

She felt a little bad, though, about her friends.  She’d spent the past few weeknights with No Man’s Land-- they’d finally taught her how to get through their stasis charm.  It was... nice. Having a group of people so similar to herself, so dedicated and persistent and _didn’t ask questions_.

 

Which was very nice, especially when she was reviewing the first year Transfiguration book because she couldn’t remember the spell.  When she was reading up on magical history that she’d never known in the first place.

 

And the fact that Daphne was there most every night didn’t hurt the group’s appeal.

 

So maybe it was guilt that drove Lucretia to spend the afternoon with Davenport.  She had a free period, and he was studying in the Common Room. She sat down in the chair next to his, pulled out an essay to work on.

 

“Hey there, Lucretia,” he said, without looking up from the diagram he was sketching.  “How’re you doing?”

 

(She wanted to tell him about No Man’s Land so badly, he was her _Captain_ , but she’d been sworn to secrecy, and it’d come down on Daphne’s head if she told--)

 

“Pretty good, actually,” she replied.  “Studying a lot. Trying to, y’know... get some stuff back.”

 

He nodded.  “You know we’re always here for you, right?”

 

“...right?”

 

She must have looked confused, because he explained.  “We haven’t seen you, or, or hung out with you in a while.  Lup was getting worried. Hell, we all were, but she was the most vocal.”

 

“...oh.  I, I’m sorry, Davenport, I’ll--”

 

“Don’t worry about it!  Please. Don’t. We’re not mad at you, Creesh.  We love you. We just miss you.”

 

“I’ll...”

 

“Oh!”  He seemed to realize the conversation had been getting steadily more awkward.  “There’s a Quidditch game tomorrow night. Hufflepuff versus Gryffindor. You should come.”

 

She almost said no, but the look on his face was so achingly familiar-- felt so much like home-- that Lucretia said yes almost immediately.

 

He smiled, and glanced at his watch.  Cursed. “I gotta go, shit, sorry-- class--”

 

And Davenport raced out of the Common Room, bag bouncing off his back.

 

She waved as he left.  The only strange thing was-- as she checked her own watch-- that she was pretty sure none of the third years had classes then.  They should’ve all started an hour ago or so.

 

Maybe he was just running late.

 

She picked up her quill, and made another attempt at the essay.

 

\-------------------------------

 

_Cycle 70, Year 3, November 16_

 

_So many things are strange about Hogwarts this year.  No Man’s Land, for one. A gray area in a coming conflict.  But not just them-- Davenport, too. He keeps running off, very quickly, before sprinting back.  Almost like he’s hiding something from us, but what? What would he need to hide?_

 

_I don’t want to pry, of course.  I just... want to know._

 

 _I wonder if it’s a side effect of being obliviated.  The desperate urge to_ learn _and to_ know _everything I can.  The way I’ve started writing it all down, just in case I forget again.  Just in case I need to remember._

 

_So maybe it’s making me desperate for knowledge.  Or maybe I’ve always been like this. But there’s one things I do know-- I’ll never find out unless I find a way to reverse this fucking curse._

 

\-------------------------------

 

The night of the Quidditch match, the terrible weather continued.  Lucretia half-regretted her promise to come, as she layered on six sweaters and five scarves and a raincoat and a waterproofing charm.  She put a heating charm on her socks, too, in the hope that it would help at all.

 

Her umbrella was really useless in the wind.  A fact she didn’t discover until she’d stepped outside of the castle with Davenport, and it was ripped from her grip and flung to the breeze.

 

“Well,” she shouted, “That’s that!”

 

“What?!”

 

Conversation became a lost cause until they made it into the relative shelter of the stands.

 

Even from such a vantage point, Lucretia could barely tell what was happening in the game.  Davenport seemed to be loving it-- shouting at the ref, cheering whenever the quaffle got near the goalposts.  (Maybe it was his gnomish eyesight, because she couldn’t even see the other side of the stadium.)

 

Suddenly, Lucretia felt a chill that wasn’t from the rain or the wind.  She squinted into the gale, holding up a hand to block her eyes.

 

There-- in the distance.  A myriad of black shadows swarming towards the Quidditch pitch.  She knew that it could only mean one thing-- Dememtors.

 

Perhaps it was odd that she was so happy, happy to see the creatures that dredged up peoples’ worst fears.  

 

The closer they got, the harder her head ached.  She shut her eyes, trying to focus on the image they projected.  It was grainy, almost staticked out. The roar of the wind seemed deafening, and somebody was screaming.

 

But she could almost see it.  It had cleared up, some-- cleared up enough that Lucretia could feel her hands shaking and her breath failing her.  

 

There was something dark.  And there was something light.  The dark thing was coming, and the light was--

 

“Lucretia!” someone shouted, pressing something into her hand.  “Lucretia, eat this. Eat it!”

 

Her head swam.  She tried to sit-- where _was_ she?-- she still couldn’t breathe, couldn’t clear her eyes, and her ears sounded like static--

 

“Eat it!”

 

She did.  She couldn’t even tell what flavor it was, only that she chewed and swallowed and the fuzzy room fell into clarity.

 

She’d recognize this room anywhere-- the Hospital Wing.  And Lup sitting on her bed.

 

“What-- what--” she croaked.

 

“It’s okay,” said Lup, holding out a chocolate bar.  “It’s okay, Creesh. It’s okay.”

 

She took the candy obediently.  “But what happened--”

 

“Dementors came to the game.”  Her voice had gone quiet, smaller than Lucretia could remember it being.  “A bunch of people fainted, and, and stuff-- why’re you smiling?”

 

“Lup,” she breathed, pushing herself into a sitting position, “I _remembered_!”

 

\-------------------------------

 

_Cycle 70, Year 3, November 17_

 

 _True, I didn’t remember a lot.  A dark mass swallowing a light mass.  A terror that felt as old as life itself.  Lup didn’t really think it was something good, but it_ is _!  My theory’s working!  The more time I spend around the dementors, the more I can remember._

 

 _They won’t let me out of the Hospital Wing yet, not until I stay the night.  Which is silly, because I’ve got_ stuff _to do.  I need to let No Man’s Land know I’m alright-- Taako said that Daphne was asking.  Plus, I need to find a way to be by the dementors._

 

_It’s probably not the safest way to do it.  Not the best way to remember. But it’s the only way I’ve got._

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Y'all are amazing :D


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucretia goes to Hogsmeade. Some secrets come to light.

The dementors never came back to the castle.  Dumbledore-- in what seemed to be the first time he looked out for his students-- had banned them from anywhere except the edges of the grounds.  It was smart, Lucretia knew. But it also made her task much, much harder. Getting to the edge of the grounds without being caught would be nigh impossible.

 

Her plans were further hindered by the snow that blew across the mountains and settled over Hogwarts on ashen wings.  It froze the ground, piled high in drifts that the Magnus loved to hide in and jump out at students on their way to Herbology.

 

(He stopped doing it to the Ravenclaws after Lucretia accidentally hexed him.)

 

Snow meant that nobody was going outside without a very good reason.  Snow meant footprints. And so snow meant that Lucretia’s plan to get more exposure to the dementors stagnated.

 

Lucretia hated feeling helpless.

 

Here was something, finally, that she could do.  That could help. And they wouldn’t let her.

 

(Oh, she knew it wasn’t safe.  Knew they could suck her soul out, knew that she could be lost and never come back.  But Lucretia felt plenty lost already.)

 

There was nothing for it but to prepare.  She returned faithfully to No Man’s Land, where she laughed with Marcus and learned maybe-illegal curses from Penelope and talked family and philosophy with Gemma.  She argued both for and against the unforgivable curses. Began to learn the intricacies of the Dark Lord’s order. 

 

Lucretia learned and laughed and lived, in the illegal group that met in the library out of nothing more than fear and camaraderie.

 

She tentatively flirted with Daphne, and was rewarded with the other girl’s cheeks going pink.  She wrote an essay on werewolves that Snape assigned, and they were upset together when Lupin cancelled it.  

 

Lucretia learned and laughed and found a place inside her heart to love this group, to care about these people who would not be with her on the next cycle.

 

Marcus and Penelope and Gemma.  Beatrice Haywood, the seventh-year Hufflepuff.  Flora and Hestia Carrow, the fourth-year Slytherins.  Theodore Nott. Blaise Zabini. Daphne. And her.

 

\-------------------------------

 

The next Hogsmeade visit rolled around on a bright December day.  The snow was crystalline on the ground, and reflected back a billion lights at anyone who looked at it.

 

Lucretia found snow boots in her trunk.  Pulled on her warmest sweater and a fur-lined cloak and a Ravenclaw scarf.  She put on a pair of earmuffs, decided she didn’t like them, and switched them for a knitted hat.

 

Her wand barely fit into her pocket with her mittens, but it would have to do.  She made her bed, and went to find Davenport, or failing that, Penelope.

 

Her captain wasn’t in the common room, but the prefect was.  She was tying a scarf around her neck, and nodded at Lucretia.

 

“Hello, Penelope,” she said, walking over to her.

 

The older girl gave her a sort of calculating glance.  “Hello there. Lucinda, was it? Lucille?”

 

“Lucretia.”

 

And all at once, she understood the dangerous game Penelope was playing.  She was in No Man’s Land for a reason, after all. Outside that precious little cloister, forbidden though it was, she couldn’t been seen associating with her.

 

“What time do we have to be back at the castle?”  She tried to make her question as innocent as possible, something that any naive little third year may ask a prefect.

 

Penelope sighed, but something like relief shone in her eyes.  “Seven. Dinner’s over at nine. Don’t make me come looking for you.”

 

She nodded-- every bit the obedient student-- and turned to go.  Before she could move, Penelope darted her eyes very pointedly across the common room.  Lucretia followed her gaze to the lanky form of Patricia Stimpson, who was watching them.

 

She filed away that information, and hurried downstairs to breakfast.

 

\-------------------------------

 

“We need to be careful,” breathed Lucretia to Davenport, who she’d found at the Ravenclaw table.  “We’re being watched.”

 

He raised an eyebrow, a silent question.

 

“Patricia Stimpson in Ravenclaw, for one,” she said, scooping up some eggs.  “Maybe some others. You know...”

 

He must have guessed something from the look on her face.  “Want to get an early start out to the village? I’ll tell...”  He hesitated at her warning glance. “I’ll tell Merle.”

 

They finished their food in small talk that was worse than silence.  Davenport loudly complained about a Potions essay. Lucretia bemoaned her Charms homework.  They kept up appearances until they got to the winding path to Hogsmeade.

 

“So what’s going on, Lucretia?” asked her captain.

 

“I... some people think there’s a conflict coming,” she blurted.  “Please don’t ask me who or how, this is very confidential. Please--”

 

“This will stay between the two of us.  I promise, Lucretia.”

 

She let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.  “I... thank you.”

 

“What else can you tell me about this conflict?  Is it soon? Are we in danger? Do we need to leave Hogwarts?  Can--”

 

“We’re fine.  So far.” They rounded a corner, and she took a breath.  “I’ve been...  _ told _ ... about the war that we read about.  Between Voldemort and his Death Eaters and the Order of the Phoenix.  Dumbledore’s side. The one that won last time.”

 

“But?”

 

“But Voldemort is back.  We’ve known since first year, I think, with the Philosopher’s stone and everything.  And, well...”

 

“There’s going to be another fight between the Death Eaters and this... Order of the Phoenix?”

 

Lucretia nodded.  “That’s what these...  _ people  _ believe.  And, well, both sides are going to be watching the seven of us.  We’re transfer students. They don’t know where we’re going to stand.  So we need... we need to be careful.”

 

“And how do you suggest that?”  Davenport’s voice had taken on a cadence that reminded Lucretia of carefully charted graphs.  “Do we proclaim our side with the Order of the Phoenix? Do we wait? Do we start building alliances?”

 

She took a shaky breath.  “I... I don’t think we should align with either side, not yet.”  (Hopefully, not ever, but she couldn't tell him that. She had to keep No Man’s Land and Daphne safe.)  “But I do think we need to be wary. Patricia was watching...  _ me _ ... this morning.  We need to be careful around all purebloods.  We need to make sure that we’re ready, I guess.”

 

He nodded, once.  “Be sure to not talk about... anything... outside of a safe place.”

 

“Yeah.  And maybe make some more friends.  We’re going to be here for another four years, after all.”

 

Davenport nodded, almost sadly, and they wound their way to Hogsmeade in companionable silence.

 

\-------------------------------

 

The day passed brightly.  Lucretia and Davenport ran into Lup and Taako at Zonko’s joke shop, stocking up on Fanging Fizzbees and Stinkbombs and Nose-Biting Tea Kettles.  She made a mental note to keep her shield spells at handy around them for a while.

 

They found Barry in a secondhand book shop, digging happily through Arithmancy texts.  Magnus was in the Post Office, happily petting a large tawny owl and arguing with the owner that dogs and owls were actually very similar indeed.

 

Merle was at Honeydukes, stocking up on chocolate.  He and Davenport fell into conversation, and left the shop hand in hand.

 

Having no great desire to third wheel, Lucretia said her goodbyes, and promised that she’d go find Magnus or Barry and spend the rest of the day with them.

 

She was on her way back to the Post Office when she ran into a group of Slytherins.

 

“Hey there, Lucretia!” shouted one of them.  It was hard to tell them apart, with their green-and-silver scarfs pulled up over their faces to protect from the cold air.

 

“Hello,” she said, making her way across the snowy road.  “Who’s that?”

 

They laughed, tugged down their scarf.  Theodore Nott.

 

“Came to join the best house, huh?”  He asked as they fell into step with her.

 

“Are we all switching to Hufflepuff?” she asked innocently.

 

One of Theodore’s companions laughed, and it was a sound Lucretia would recognize anywhere.  Daphne.

 

“Me ‘n Daph’ ‘n Blaise were on our way to The Three Broomsticks.  Care to join?”

 

She wasn’t quite sure what she wanted, only that spending time with Daphne and her beloved butterbeer couldn’t hurt.  “Why not?”

 

\-------------------------------

 

Lucretia was almost surprised at how simple it was to join their group.  They talked trash about Sprout. They complained about Filch’s screening process.

 

“Besides, if I wanted something dark in the castle,” said Blaise with a lazy grin, “I wouldn’t be stupid enough to just walk on in with it.”

 

He looked up, suddenly, as if he were just realizing that they weren’t the only ones in the room.  The panic in his eyes was far too familiar. “Of course, I’m glad they’re taking every precaution,” he added quickly.

 

Theo punched him lightly in the arm.  “Very Slytherin of you, thinking about that after you’d already said it.”

 

“What can I say?”  Blaise shrugged, took a too-large gulp of butterbeer.  “One of my stepdads was a Gryffindor.”

 

“Oh really?” asked Daphne, leaning in.  “I’m sure you learned so much from him.”

 

The dark-skinned Slytherin smiled back.  “Why, my darling Daphne, I certainly learned that red and gold make shitty funeral colors.”

 

Lucretia must have looked a little shocked at how blase they were, because Theodore slung an arm around her.  “Hey, don’t ruin her innocence,” he said, mock-offended through a brilliant smile. “She’s young and small and doesn’t know how to swear.”

 

“Fuck you,” Lucretia said, and the four of them burst into laughter.

 

It wasn’t until they were making their way out of the establishment that Lucretia realized he hadn’t moved his arm back.  She’d enjoyed the warm weight. It was still plenty cold in there, with the door opening and closing all the time.

 

A considerate friend, to have thought she might still be cold.

 

\-------------------------------

 

_ I didn’t say anything to the others, but as we left the Three Broomsticks, something slammed into my side.  I didn’t trip into Blaise like I said I did. Something-- something I couldn’t see or hear-- hit me. _

 

_ I want to find out what’s running invisible around Hogsmeade. _

 

\------------------------------- 

 

Blaise and Theodore split off from Daphne and Lucretia, saying they needed to stop by Honeydukes before the day ended.  The two girls began the long walk back to Hogwarts, scarves pulled up over their noses, shoulders knocking into each other.

 

“You know what’s a little bit silly?” asked Daphne, hopping over a huge chunk of ice.

 

“Hm?”

 

“I barely know you, right?  I only see you at class, and I only get to talk to you at No Man’s Land.  And yet... I miss you.”

 

“I...”

 

“You don’t have to reply,” she said quickly.  “And it’s stupid, I know. It’s just... I really like being around you, Lucretia.”

 

“I like being around you, too.”

 

Daphne turned to her, tugging down on her scarf, revealing a brilliant smile and a blush she couldn’t be sure was just from the cold winter day.  “It’s just... you’re  _ amazing _ .”  The Slytherin, normally so poised and eloquent, was stumbling over her words, hands moving frantic in the air.  “You’re so smart, and I can tell you’ve had shit happen to you but, y’know, you’re  _ here _ , Lucretia, you’re brave and brilliant and talented?  And, Merlin this sounds sappy, but I just like listening to you  _ talk _ .”

 

She broke off abruptly.  “I’m really glad that we can be friends, in this... odd way.  I’m just... glad.”

 

It was Lucretia’s turn to be blushing.  “I, Daphne...”

 

“I think Theo likes you,” she said quickly.  “He was flirting all through those drinks.”

 

“Wait, what?”

 

The other girls’ brows furrowed.  “Did you not  _ realize _ ?”

 

“I... that’s  _ flirting _ ?”

 

“Usually, yeah?”

 

“Well.  Um. Okay, then.”

They turned to walk again.  The dark shape of the castle loomed ahead, and the moon had just begun to rise.

 

“So are you, I don’t know, interested?” asked Daphne, tone forcibly playful, bumping her shoulder into Lucretia’s.

 

It was her turn to look over at Daphne.  “Not really, no.”

 

“He’s a really nice guy--”

 

“I, um.  Hey, can I, uh, ask you a question?”

 

“Go for it.”  She looked...  _ nervous _ .

 

“What’s, um, what does... wizarding Europe think of, ah, same-sex attraction?”

 

Daphne’s face morphed into shock, but she quickly smoothed it back down.  “Well, it’s not exactly smiled upon. I’ve got a pair of aunts, and they make it work by duelling and killing anybody who doesn’t like it.”

 

That was a little more violent than Lucretia had intended, but, she could work with it.  “But, if I... hypothetically... experienced that, I wouldn’t be... shunned?”

 

She paused.  “No, I don’t think so.  I believe the overall sentiment to be “ignore it and hope it goes away.”

 

“What do you think?”

 

“I, personally...”  Daphne blushed, looked away from Lucretia, over to the Black Lake.  “I don’t have a problem with it.”

 

She smiled, relief and joy and something else entirely flashing across her face.  “I identify as homoromantic asexual, so that’s good to hear.”

 

“Sorry, Lucretia, I don’t...”

 

“Don’t worry, it’s pretty obscure.  I’m romantically attracted to women, but not, ah, sexually.”

 

Daphne shrugged, smile evident in her eyes.  “Glad to know I’m in such good company.”

 

All too soon the doors to Hogwarts were before them, and Lucretia had to leave Daphne at the Slytherin table, taking nothing away but a brilliant smile and the thought that she might have... a couple of feelings.

 

\-------------------------------

 

_ I can’t believe I forgot.  I meant to stop by the dementors after Hogsmeade, to see if I could remember anything else.  Talking to Daphne was absolutely, definitely worth it, but I wish I’d remembered. _

 

_ Next time. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! If you're so inclined, drop a comment or a kudos!!!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucretia's troubles catch up to her. However, she decides to take a stand.

“Dammit, Magnus!” Lucretia shouted, and surely her voice had never before sounded so harsh, so angry.  “Can’t you watch what you’re doing?!”

 

“Ms. Director!” said Burbage, frowning at her from the front of the Muggle Studies classroom.  “Please!”

 

“I’m sorry,” Magnus said, a moment too late, and he was looking at Lucretia like he’d never seen her before.

 

She swallowed a lump in her throat that tasted like guilt and crumpled up the inkstained assignment.  She held it tight in her hand until it hurt and she looked down to find the paper on fire.

 

Lucretia dropped it to the floor, stepped on it.  Magnus glanced over at her again, worry almost palpable.  “Are you... you okay, Creesh?”

 

She shook her head once.  She’d snapped at him. Lit her damn paper on fire.

 

No, Lucretia wasn’t okay at all.

 

\-------------------------------

 

_ I can’t keep living like this.  I’m grumpy, I’m irritated, I can’t even talk to Davenport or Daphne or Magnus or anybody.  I yelled at Magnus in Muggle Studies because he spilled ink on my assignment. I’m not... I’m not a good person anymore. _

 

_ I hate being like this.  I’ve got to change. _

 

_ I have to. _

 

_ And I’m not a good person at all, right now.  I’m just... not.  _

 

_ But  _ old  _ Lucretia?  She was. I have to get that back _ .

 

\-------------------------------

 

“Hey, Lucretia,” said a voice in the hallway as she was on her way to lunch.  She spun, tense after a long Transfiguration lesson. Barry. “How’re you, um, doing?”

 

She shrugged.  The last thing she wanted right now was a heart-to-heart with Barry.  

 

“I’m fine,” she said shortly, turning away from him.  “Just...”

 

Stressed.  Anxious. Exhausted.  Worried. Depressed. Lonely.  Not a good person.

 

He nodded as though he understood exactly what she meant.  “Yeah. Wanna take a walk?”

 

“I... I need to eat.”  She didn’t fully understand why she was blowing off his offer, didn’t understand why anybody’s company right now felt wrong, like forcing in a puzzle piece that didn’t quite fit.

 

“Oh.  Right.”  Barry hurried up to her so he was walking by her side.  “Can I walk you there?”

 

She didn’t reply, but he took it as a yes, falling into step with her.

 

Lucretia turned her head away.  Having somebody this close to her felt... off, and made her feel like crying.

 

And it was only because she’d turned away that she saw him.  Another Barry, heading to lunch, talking to some Hufflepuff she didn’t know.

 

“...shit,” breathed the Barry walking by Lucretia.  “Uh. I forgot my, um... socks.” And he raced back down the corridor, away from the other Barry.

 

Lucretia stared at him, then the other Barry, then back at him, and ran after the one who’d been walking by her.

 

She was a jerk and a pretty horrible person but damn if she wasn’t going to get an explanation.

 

\-------------------------------

“Barry!” she shouted, racing behind him.  She was taller and had longer legs than he, but he’d gotten a head start.  “Barold! Come back here!”

 

He didn’t stop.  Lucretia could hear his heavy breathing, his feet pounding against the stone floors of Hogwarts as she chased him down staircases and past murmuring portraits and all the way to the barrells guarding the Hufflepuff common room, into which he disappeared.

 

Fuck.

 

Old Lucretia probably knew how to get in.  Old Lucretia probably knew and didn’t bother to fucking write down what she knew.

 

(Lucretia vowed silently that if--no, when-- she got her memories back, she’d write down  _ everything _ , just in case.)

 

But no matter what Old Lucretia knew, the fact of the matter was that New Lucretia had no damn idea how to get past the barrels.

 

She had a vague idea that you had to knock on them.

 

And she needed to know why there were two Barrys.

 

Lucretia stretched out a hand, and knocked experimentally on the top barrel.

 

There was a horrific creaking noise, and then it’s lid flew off, drenching Lucretia in a deluge of liquid.

 

_ Vinegar _ , she thought, based on the taste and the way her eyes and raw fingernails stung.  Almost as bad as Fisher’s ichor.

 

“Fuck!” shouted Lucretia, soaked in vinegar and sobbing in an empty corridor.  She kicked one of the barrels. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck you!”

 

\-------------------------------

 

Lucretia didn’t know how long she sat in the empty corridor outside the Hufflepuff room.  It was long enough for some of the vinegar to drip off of her and pool around her feet. She sat there until she heard quiet footsteps and a comforting hand on her back.

 

“Up you get, Lucy-lu,” said Merle.

 

Lucretia started crying.  She didn’t even have a good reason, just  _ somebody was comforting her  _ and  _ she didn’t deserve it  _ and  _ now she’d have to redo her hair because it smelled like vinegar  _ and--

 

With surprising strength, he lifted her up by her armpits, set her on her feet.  “C’mon in. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

 

She couldn’t appreciate the Hufflepuff common room-- bright, cheerful, full of plants and circular paintings-- but she could appreciate that it was mostly empty.  The few students in there didn’t give her a second glance, and she felt a twinge of gratitude that hurt more than the vinegar stung.

 

Merle didn’t ask her any questions until she was in a pair of borrowed robes and clean clothing and had washed the vinegar out of her hair and had thrown up a few times because the scent wouldn’t go away.

 

“That’s one way to take a shower,” he said, as she settled down on a cushy armchair in one of the common room’s alcoves.  He sat on the chair next to her, tucked his feet up under him. “I know you’re not having the easiest time of it, Lulu.”

 

“Don-- don’t call me that,” she said, hating the way her voice cracked.

 

Merle nodded easily.  “Okay then, Lux. But don’t tell me nothing’s wrong.  I’m the health guy, I can tell.”

 

“You’re the botanist,” she murmured from insider her too-big borrowed robe.

 

He shrugged.  “Y’know, Taako gave this huge monologue a few days before we were picked for this mission.  About how he was allowed to enjoy cooking and chemistry and arcana. About how he was multidimensional, was more than just a body to do science.  I think it’s one of the reasons he was chosen. But that’s my point, Luce. We’re all multidimensional. I can be a doctor and a botanist. Lup can blow things up and also know how to resurrect them.  

 

“We love and we cry.  We feel joy and we feel sorrow.  Right now, I get the feeling that you’re feeling a lot of that.  Like you’re stuck on one end of the spectrum. And sometimes, Creesh, life is like that.  You get stuck in one place and you feel flat.

 

“But that’s the whole point of life.  You feel flat for a while. Sometimes, for a very long while.  But you’re multidimensional. You’ll always find a way back.”

 

Lucretia was crying, she realized, into somebody else’s shirt collar.

 

“And I don't know exactly how you’re feeling right now.  I don’t need to know. But know this, Lucretia-- we will always be there for you.  No matter how flat or lonely you feel, it is multidimensional. You are multidimensional.  You’re allowed to feel sad and lost, but you’re deserving of joy.”

 

They sat in silence for a long while as Lucretia cried.  “Thank you, Merle,” she finally said. “I. Thank you.”

 

\-------------------------------

 

_ I know they think that something’s wrong with me, and they’re not incorrect.  I am a very different person. I’m missing decades of memories. I’ve replaced them with some... sort of horrid growth. Anger, frustration, yelling.  It’s like a tumor that the more I pull at it the more it clings to me. It’s not going to come out unless it’s forced. _

 

_ And I know that they’re all trying to intervene.  Trying to talk, and make sure that I know that they’re there for me.  And I appreciate it, I truly do. But sometimes... that’s just not enough. _

 

_ Merle says we’re multidimensional.  That we can “bounce back.” But how do I tell him that some things, you can’t bounce off of?  Some things you hit and instead of bouncing, you shatter instead. _

 

_ Talking isn’t enough.  Just living, merely surviving, isn’t... enough.  I can’t live like this-- so bitter and angry and I don’t know why and I don’t know how to stop-- I can’t live like this any longer. _

  
  


\-------------------------------

 

A cold, January blizzard provided the only distraction Lucretia needed.  As her Herbology class fled towards the castle, she followed them, but only halfway.  Her cloak wasn’t very thick but she did have snow boots on and she knew she could make it.

 

When the rest of the students turned left to stumble up the snow-driven path to Hogwarts, Lucretia turned right, following the unshovelled walk to the front gates.  It hadn’t been touched since the last Hogsmeade visit, but the torrential snow would soon cover her tracks.

 

Her fingers were numb, and she stuffed her hands under her armpits, drawing her cloak tight around herself.  She squinted into the howling wind. Was that a dementor ahead? 

 

Lucretia knew very well that it wasn’t super safe to be going to the dementors alone.  But Lucretia also knew that they were under orders to not touch innocent students. And something Lucretia knew even more deeply-- right down to her very core-- was that either she would die getting those memories, or she would die without them.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! If you're so inclined, please drop a comment or a kudos!!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucretia's done it... right?

Dementors made things cold, right?

 

As she shouldered her way through the blizzard, Lucretia couldn’t be quite sure.  But she seemed to remember a chill? Perhaps some frost?

 

Yes.  That was right.  And she was good a logic, which meant she was good at thinking, which meant that the colder it got the closer she was getting.

 

Right?

 

She must be getting closer.  The dementors guarded the front entrance, as always.  She just couldn’t see them because of the crazy snow.

 

Stupid fucking snow.  Making her go so slowly, making her take the time to drag her feet through the drifts up to her thighs.

 

Stupid snow stopping her from getting her memory back.

 

But it was okay, because it was getting colder, which meant she was almost there.

 

She plunged into another snowdrift, shivering as the snow rode up the cuffs of her pants and her hands brushed against it as she held her cloak shut.  Every step was an exertion-- forcing herself forward, and forward, and forward.

 

But Lucretia knew that she could make it.  She could get her memories back, no matter what was in her way.

 

Her foot hit something-- a chunk of ice or a rock or a tree root, and Lucretia fell.  She threw her hands out a moment too late to catch herself, plunging face-first into the snow.

 

It was cold and hurt like knives, but it was  _ cold  _ and that meant she was getting so  _ close _ .  The blizzard was howling worse than ever above her, but she could get her memories back no matter what.  She was  _ Lucretia Director _ .  She’d survived seventy fucking years and one year all alone and she could survive a fucking blizzard.

 

On numb hands, she forced herself back to her feet.  She could do this.

 

The wind roared, and she squeezed her eyes tight shut against the flurry of snow.  

 

Lucretia’s hands were numb and busy holding onto her cloak and her eyes were shut and tears were frozen onto her face when the blizzard actually  _ hit _ .

 

Her only thought was that snow wasn’t supposed to work like that.

 

\-------------------------------

 

Snow wasn’t supposed to do that, it wasn’t supposed to sweep you off your feet and fling you through the air and even if it did it was at the least supposed to make sure that you didn’t hit your head, because she didn’t know a lot but that for sure killed you and what if the journals were all wrong and she didn’t come back--

 

But she wouldn’t know unless she got her  _ fucking memories back _ \--

 

Lucretia slammed into the ground, and felt her breath halt, and, fuck it’s not supposed to do that and why can’t she see and--

 

And then it was back.  When she finally managed to force her eyes open, Lucretia found herself lying on her back, staring up at something blindingly white.

 

_ Maybe she was in her memory.  Maybe she made it _ .

 

And maybe she did, so Lucretia waited on the ground to remember her worst ever memory.

 

Except, there was nothing there.  Nothing but an endless white sky shooting down little knives at her face and the tears in her eyes and the way she couldn’t move her head to look around.

 

\-------------------------------

 

Lucretia didn’t know how long she lay there, only that she couldn’t quite seem to get enough air.  But finally the fog in her head cleared up a little bit, and she couldn’t move her head but she could move her eyes just enough to figure out where she was.

 

She still wasn’t sure if she was in a memory.  If she was, it was pretty fucking bad.

 

Lucretia lay in a bank of snow, a white sky throwing down little blades of blizzard-hail down on her face.  She couldn’t move her head or her arms or her legs. She couldn’t reach for her wand. 

 

She couldn’t even feel the snow she’s half-buried in.

 

Every so often above her, she saw long, thin lines-- like branches, like vines, like twisting lightning-- silhouetted dark against the sky.  They floated slowly back and forth, in and out of her vision.

 

Could that be the Hunger that her journals had told her so much about?  Could she be remembering one of her deaths, the ones that were never detailed, just given in Lup’s handwriting “Lucretia died?”

 

Yes.  That must be it.  Right?

 

Right.

 

She  _ did  _ it, she fucking  _ did  _ it and she remembered her memory of one of her own deaths, and she watched the thin tendrils of the Hunger sway back and forth.

 

The Hunger wasn’t opalescent, wasn’t colorful, but maybe everything looked different when it’s your own worst memory.  

 

\-------------------------------

 

She could feel things going fuzzy, but that was okay, because it was just her memory.

 

Just her memory of when she died in a snow-filled and white-skied world, Hunger dancing above her.

 

Just her memory and nothing more.

 

Right?

 

\-------------------------------

 

The fuzz was beginning to blur together, swirling up the Hunger and the too-bright sky.  Lucretia shut her eyes, but the striking whiteness didn’t leave. It felt like it was consuming her from the inside out.

 

But worse than how bright it was, was the edges.  Even with her eyes tight shut-- even with the way she would no longer feel the pinpricks of snow landing on her cheeks-- she could see the fuzz.

 

Black and white.

 

Black and white and black and white and black and white and  _ static. _

 

Gray and bouncing and caving in on her-- Lucretia opened her eyes but it didn’t go away, she blinked frantically and tried to rub at them but her arms wouldn’t move and neither would her eyes and it  _ wouldn’t go away and _ \-- it was dancing and sparkling and  _ why was it so bright-- _

 

She needed to get out of that memory.

 

But she couldn’t see.  Couldn’t move. And the pain in her chest felt too real to be imagined.

 

But it was just a memory.

 

Just a memory, Lucretia repeated, as the static closed in on her.  Just a memory just a memory just just just a memory just  _ remember  _ it’s just the Hunger and her death and a memory memory remember dammit a memory-- just a memory-- 

 

Right?

 

\-------------------------------

 

“Lucretia!” shouted a panicked voice, but she was too far gone to hear it.

 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! Did I just write 1000 words of a big ol' hit on Lucretia? Yep!!
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading!! Seeing your feedback means so much to me, so if you've got the time, I love hearing from you guys!!!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucretia wakes up.

Lucretia awoke to a ceiling of white.  Much as she tried to move-- her head, to see; her legs, to walk-- she could not.  All she could do was blink and blink and blink up at that neverending white that wouldn’t  _ stop _ , why wouldn’t it  _ stop _ , at least the Hunger was gone but why didn’t it  _ stop _ \--

 

“Ah, you’re awake.”

 

Into Lucretia’s vision walked a woman she’d spent enough time around to recognize on sight-- Madam Pomfrey.  The matron of the Hospital Wing.

 

“What happened?” asked Lucretia.  

 

Or, she tried to ask.  Her mouth wouldn’t move, and her tongue seemed ungainly, and no words came.

 

“You gave us a bad scare there, Ms. Director,” she continued, bustling out of sight.  “What were you doing, out there in the  _ snow _ under the  _ Whomping Willow _ in a  _ blizzard _ ?” 

 

She stood over Lucretia again, glaring down at her, holding a potion bottle in an almost threatening way.  “Must’ve gotten off course from Herbology. I’m just glad your friends found you without getting too hurt themselves.”

 

They’d gotten  _ hurt _ ?

 

Lucretia didn’t know much about what was going on.  Only that they shouldn’t have gotten hurt-- she’d found the dementors, hadn’t she?  She’d been plunged into a memory in which she died... hadn’t she?

 

\-------------------------------

 

Madam Pomfrey must’ve seen the worry in her eyes, because her face softened as she set the bottle down.  “Ms. Youknow-Fromtivi got a nasty cut on her face from the Whomping Willow, and Mr. Highchurch had a minor case of frostbite, but nothing serious, dear.”

 

It was good to know they weren’t badly hurt, but Lucretia couldn’t quite wrap her head around what happened-- what did it mean, being hit in her memory and found under the Whomping Willow?  What did it mean that she remembered dying in a world of white and was found in a snow-driven plain?

 

“I’m just glad the dementors weren’t nearby,” tsk-ed Pomfrey.  “Bad enough you got hit by the Willow and left for dead. They wouldn’t have been able to resist!  What Dumbledore was thinking, I don’t know...”

She puttered off across the room, leaving Lucretia’s mind trapped, buffering like a stuck record, repeating the same thoughts over and over again over and over again over and over--

 

No dementors.  No dementors. Under the Willow, but no dementors, the dementors never got close, she was hit by the Willow and left for dead, Lup with a cut and Merle with frostbite and there were no dementors.

 

No dementors no dementors left under the Willow left for dead but thank goodness there were no dementors--

 

No dementors: no memory and no memory is no dementors and no memory no memory real life not a memory just real life and in real life it wasn’t a memory but in the memory she almost died, in the memory the world went fuzzy and grayscale and static static static like the dementors but there were no dementors so it can’t have been a memory which meant--

 

Which meant--

 

Meant--

 

It wasn’t a memory at all.

 

\-------------------------------

  
  


Lup was standing over her the next time Lucretia woke.  Eyes bright, cheek bandaged.

 

“Hey, Creesh,” she said softly, sitting down next to her on the bed.  At least, Lucretia assumed she did-- once Lup moved out of her line of sight, she couldn’t tell.  “I’m glad to see you awake. You gave us a scare.”

 

“Sorry,” Lucretia tried to say, but once again, no sound came out.

 

Lup nodded in-- not sympathy, exactly-- but something more like empathy.  “I don’t know what Pomfrey told you, but I figured you’d wanna know what happened.  It looks like you got off track on your way back from Herbology, and ended up under the Whomping Willow.  You got to close-- it hit you in the chest, knocking you back and onto the ground. Pomfrey thinks that impact is what paralyzed you.  You also nearly froze to death. Merle and Dav and Barry were worried when you didn’t come back from class, and I used Lightfinder to pinpoint you.”  

 

_ What? _

 

She understood the unspoken question.  “Don’t worry, Creesh. She and Snape are working on a solution.  Skelegrow and some unicorn hair and some griffin marrow. Bone regrowth and hope and strength.  We’ll figure it out.”

 

Lucretia made a small sound in the base of her throat, and Lup beamed.  “One for yes, two for no?”

 

_ Yes _ .

 

“Want me to sit you up?”

 

_ Yes _ .

 

Lucretia had so many questions-- why didn’t the dementors come, why didn’t she get my memory back, why’d the tree hit her and why’d she get paralyzed while she was  _ just trying to get better _ \--

 

Lup had found some mechanism to raise the top half of the bed, and she cranked on it, raising Lucretia to a seated position.

 

The Hospital Wing was quiet.  Pomfrey was out of sight, but her office light was on and her voice bubbled out of it.  Every so often, Snape would make a quiet comment.

 

“I’m helping them too,” said Lup, following her eyes.  “I figure they’ll survive for a bit, though.”

 

_ Yes _ .

 

“I’m glad you didn’t die out there,” she said quietly.  “I... I don’t know why you were out there, but you’re important to us.  You’re important to me. We’ll all come back, but.. I don’t want to lose you, Lucretia.”

 

_ No _ .

 

She furrowed her brow.  “No to... you want to lose us?”

 

_ No! _

 

Her face softened a little.  “You don’t want to lose us.”

 

_ Yes _ .  And then after a moment of hesitation,  _ Yes _ .

 

\-------------------------------

  
  


Lup stayed with Lucretia for a long while, as she watched the minute hand tick its way slowly around the clock on the opposite wall.  But in the corner of her eye, Lucretia saw Snape open the door.

 

“Lup.”  His voice was sharp, but not harsh.  “We need an extra set of hands.”

 

She set a hand gently on Lucretia’s leg.  Not that she could feel it, of course, but the gesture was nice.

 

“Back soon,” Lup promised, kissing her forehead gently.

 

\-------------------------------

  
  


Lucretia did enjoy being alone.  She liked peaceful mornings and quiet nights.  She liked laughing into the wind with nobody else to hear it.  

She liked the feeling of solitude.  The way that she was suddenly responsible for nobody’s welfare but her own.  The fact that nobody could judge her for what she chose-- or didn’t choose-- to do.

 

She liked being alone, but she liked being alone and being able to  _ choose _ .

 

Right now, Lucretia couldn’t move a muscle.  There was no choice to be had other than to sit and watch the ticking of the clock and wallow deeper into the own mire of her head.

 

She thought she’d made it to the dementors.  Thought she’d gotten her memory back, but she hadn’t.  If it hadn’t been snowing so hard-- if the blizzard hadn’t gotten her so off-track she got hit by the Whomping Willow-- she could’ve made it.

 

If she hadn’t gotten the  _ fuck  _ off the path and got hit and now she was fucking  _ paralyzed  _ and dammit it would take ages before she got another chance.

 

She didn’t get her memory back, but that was the blizzard’s fault.  Nothing more than a freak accident. It could still work.

 

Lucretia steeled herself as best she could, and stared resolutely ahead as the clock tick-tick-ticked forever forward.

 

It  _ would  _ still work.

 

Just as soon as she could move again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I've done a Lot of Hits on our girl... but it's getting better, I swear!
> 
> Anyway, thanks a ton for reading!!!!! I love you guys !!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A solution is found. The seven birds have a much-needed reunion.

The first potion they gave her didn’t work.

Neither did the second.

By the time Snape, Lup, and Pomfrey had a third batch prepared, Lucretia had missed four days of class, and was desperate.

Desperate to learn what she’d missed.  

Desperate to check in with her crew members.  Oh, they’d all come to visit-- Magnus more than most-- but had each in turn been kicked out by Pomfrey.

And even more desperate, if it were possible, to go to No Man’s Land.  Lucretia knew very well that none of them had a good reason to come visit her in the Hospital Wing-- knew that they couldn’t risk life and limb to say hello-- but it didn’t stop her from feeling a little, well, abandoned.

So it was with a heavy heart and little hope that Lucretia greeted Lup when she came bearing the third potion they’d created.

“Third time’s the charm, right?” said Lup, holding the steaming goblet in her hand as she approached Lucretia.

_ Yes _ .

“Hell yeah!  That’s the spirit!  Okay, I’m gonna climb over you to pour this into your mouth, that okay?”

_ Yes _ .

Lup was always good about asking permission.

“Rad.”

She hopped onto the hospital bed, and kneeled over her, careful not to spill a drop of the potion.  Lucretia imagined that she could feel Lup’s comforting weight on her legs.

The potion tasted like peppermint, and made her cough and splutter.  Lup pulled a cloth out of nowhere, wiped away the drops from Lucretia’s chin.  “There’s just one more gulp, Creesh. You good?”

_ Yes _ .

She swallowed it as best she could.  Lup set the empty chalice down on the bedside table, and plopped down on the side of Lucretia’s bed.

“Snape said he wasn’t sure how much the Skelegrow ratio would affect this,” she said casually, “but we tested it on some rats and things and they seemed fine.”

Well, that was concerning.

She trusted Lup, Lucretia reminded herself.  She trusted Lup. She trusted her, and trusted that she wouldn’t have poured something unsafe into her mouth.

It didn’t banish her fears.

Thankfully, Lup kept talking.

“History of Magic today was possibly the most boring class I’ve ever attended in my ridiculously long life,” she said.  “So, first of all, we walk in, and Binns was  _ already talking _ .  And I bet Magnus a chocolate frog to walk through him, and of course he did it, and  _ all Binns did was cough and mutter about a draft _ .  Sometimes I wonder if he thinks we’re the ghosts instead of him.

“Anyway, so all bets were off then, because he triple-dog-dared me to light the chalkboard on fire-- and I tried, but it turns out that chalkboards don’t really  _ go  _ on fire, so the only solution was to bribe Seamus with a thing of Bertie Bott’s Beans to get it on fire for me because-- and don’t tell Taako I said this-- that boy might be better at fire than I am-- and anyway, the whole thing went up in flames, and Binns--”

Lucretia let the comforting lull of Lup’s voice and her friends’ shenanigans drift her into sleep.

\---

She woke to a painful tingling in her arms.  Lucretia gasped, and screamed-- and, gods above, she could  _ hear  _ it!

“I can talk!  I can talk!” she shouted, and she could  _ feel  _ the tears streaming down her cheeks and she could  _ touch  _ the sheet that was pulled over her chest and she could--

“Miss Director!”  Madam Pomfrey had come running out of her quarters, lit wand held high above her head.  “Please stop screaming! Are you alright?”

“I can  _ feel _ ,” she said, a little quieter, looking up at the matron.  “And I can-- look, I can  _ move _ !”  

It took a little bit of doing, but she managed to pull her arms out from under the blanket.

The woman nodded in approval.  “Yes, very good. I’m glad to see that this one worked out.  I’ll tell Professor Snape and Ms. Youknow-Fromtivi.”

“Can I go?”

“Certainly not!”  she made a face so offended that Lucretia may as well have spit into her hair.  “You’ve been paralyzed, young lady, and at the very least you are staying the night!”

Lucretia grumbled half-heartedly, but eventually agreed, and Pomfrey returned to her quarters, taking her light with her.

She was left alone in the dark infirmary, no company but the moonlight beyond the windows and the quiet night noises of the castle.

Moving as gently as she could, she wiped the tears off her face.  Eveything felt so  _ foreign _ \-- her hands could touch, her face could feel touch, she was Lucretia Director and she was so old and so young but she could  _ move again _ \--

Lucretia leapt to her feet.

Well, she didn’t mean to leap-- she meant to stand up normally-- but her legs disagreed, flinging her forward and almost crashing into the next bed over.

She was much too awake, much too excited, to even think about going back to bed.  She spent a while-- a minute or an hour, who knew-- just walking. Making laps around the quiet Hospital Wing.  She was, thankfully, the only one there.

As Lucretia made her way to one of the windows, her legs decided once again that, no, they would not like to behave, thank you very much.  The step she took threw her forward further than she’d expected, flinging her towards the windowsill and--

Her hands grabbed onto the stone sill and stopped her fall almost in midair.

Huh.

Lucretia slowly lowered herself to her feet, and turned towards the window.  It had frosted over, so she leaned close, and huffed a breath of hot air. Slowly but surely, the pane of glass began to clear enough that she could see outside.

It was snowing again, a fine mist of white twinkling down from the dark, cloud-filled sky.  Sparse ambient moonlight reflected onto and off of the snow, fractaling onto the castle and painting it gray.  She didn’t have her glasses-- turning, they were on her bedside table-- but if Lucretia squinted hard enough, she could make out the tiny black blobs of the dementors floating back and forth, back and forth, along the perimeter.

Her breath caught in her throat.  The cold stone of the floor seemed to leech warmth from her stockinged feet.

Lucretia was fairly certain that she had almost died.

That she’d almost lost her life in exchange for her memories.

The scene outside the window suddenly seemed eerie, menacing.  Patting the pockets of her dressing gown, she couldn’t find her wand.  Suddenly, she felt exposed. Vulnerable.

Lucretia stepped back, away from the window and the dementors and the icy scene of the world outside Hogwarts.  She stepped back and back and back into her bed, and pulled the covers up as high as they would go.

She’d have to find a safer way to get her memories back.

But how?

Lucretia fell asleep with the gut-wrenching knowledge of having no idea whatsoever.

\---

Pomfrey let her out of the Hospital Wing the next morning.  As Lucretia walked out, holding her bookbag and her wand once again, she was practically tackled outside the door.

“Lucretia!” shouted Magnus, wrapping her up in a bear hug that lifted her off the ground.  “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

The other students in the corridor besides the Starblaster crew were starting to look at them curiously.

“Let’s move this reunion, thug,” suggested Taako, grabbing Magnus’s arm with a sigh and tugging him and Lucretia away from the doorway to the infirmary.

“I’m just so happy,” he said, protesting weakly, but allowing himself to be led.

“Where to?” asked Lup, turning backwards to face them and still walk.  When she caught Lucretia’s eye, she winked, and started moon-walking.

“Hufflepuff,” said Merle.  “It’s just down the stairs.”

Davenport looked at him over their linked hands in something like confusion.  “I thought it was on the other side of the castle.”

Merle smiled and rolled his eyes.  “You just gotta ask politely, that’s all.”

“That doesn’t make any sense, though,” Barry protested, with the unmistakeable tone of someone who wanted to run an experiment of questionable legailty.  “That breaks physics!”

“You do magic, Barold,” said Taako, shooting a shower of white sparks at him.  “Try to keep up.”

“But you guys are interplanar  _ scientists _ !”  Barry protested.  “Shouldn’t you want to know--”

“Of course we do, babe,” said Lup with a smile.  “But it doesn't mean we have to think too hard about it.  If Merle’s friends with Hogwarts, then he’s friends with Hogwarts, m’kay?”

“It’s not even the same way I’m friends with plants!” he offered happily.

Davenport dropped his hand in mock disgust.  “You’re cheating on me?!”

Merle laughed, pressed a kiss to his cheek.  

Lucretia smiled, and let herself get caught up in the easy feeling of friendship.

\---

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! I did a lot of hits on the girl, but hopefully this starts to make up for them. :)
> 
> Hey, thank you so much for reading. I love you guys.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merle casts... ZONE OF TRUTH!

Thankfully, most of Hufflepuff had already headed off to breakfast, leaving the IPRE crew with a fairly empty common room.  It was a point in Hufflepuff’s favor that they didn’t look at all surprised by five people who weren’t in the house barging in.

In fact, there were probably more non-Puffs in the room than were.  Lucretia looked around, a little confused, at the sheer quantity of Slytherins and Ravenclaws and Gryffindors there.

“Yeah, we don’t have a good hangout spot for all the houses,” Merle said, following her gaze, “So we tend to take that role.”

“It’s... lovely.”

“This way, crew,” said Davenport, leading the seven of them over to a small meeting room, sectioned off from the common room proper.  They filed in, and he closed the door behind them. “Meeting time.”

Taako groaned, flopped into a chair, and flung his head into his hands.  “I only signed up for two months of meetings,” he moaned. “This is unfair, biased, and also homophobia.”

“I’m gay, fuck you,” said Davenport with the air of a man who’d dealt with the same arguments for over seventy years.  “C’mon, crew, this is important. I don’t want to single anybody out, but, Lucretia.”

“Sounds like you’re singling her out,” mumbled Taako, who had pulled his overlarge hat all the way over his head.

The captain ignored him.  “Lucretia, we don’t want to get mad or shout or yell or anything.  We just want to know what happened. You’re a very intelligent, capable young woman.  How’d you get lost?”

Already faintly nervous, Lucretia felt the familiar pound pound pound of her heart speed up and her breath catch in her throat.  When she spoke, though, her words were clear. “The blizzard. I just got mixed up, that’s all.”

“We were walking in with you,” Taako said, sitting up slightly.  “There was a whole lotta people.”

“And there was a whole lotta snow,” she protested, not looking at him or Davenport.  “Listen, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to end up in the Hospital Wing.”

“I don’t--” said Davenport, but was cut off by Merle.

“I know what we need here,” he said.  “I cast... ZONE OF TRUTH!”

And a thin strand of winding green shot out the end of his wand, encircling around the seven of them.

“I’ve never cast that before in this plane,” Merle suddenly blurted out, “and I think it acted differently than it does normally!  I didn’t even get to roll to save!”

“Merle, I’m very upset that you would cast a spell like that without consulting the rest of us,” said Davenport, whose eyes widened as he clasped a hand desperately over his mouth.  His voice came through, muffled. “However, it was a very smart decision and I tend to forget how much I love you and I’m sorry that I ever seem like I don’t.”

The gnome had gone bright red.

“I love you too,” said Merle, and Lucretia wasn’t even sure if the zone was affecting him for that one.

“I’m really worried about Lucretia isolating herself,” Taako blurted out, looking like he hated himself.  “It makes me think of how isolated I feel because I’m trying to stay on good terms with the Dark side in Slytherin and I feel like I’m losing you.”

“I feel like I don’t belong because I don’t remember,” Lucretia said, at the same time Lup said,

“I wish I could be in Slytherin with you,” and Barry said,

“I’m sorry I haven’t been around.”

“Casting this was such a good idea,” said Merle with a small, self-satisfied smile.

\---

“We should take things one thing at a time,” said Davenport, managing to wrestle back some small semblance of control over the meeting.  “Lucretia first. Creesh, what happened after Herbology?”

“I went the other way to go towards the dementors,” she mumbled.  The table stared at her in shock, and she buried her face in her hands, but couldn’t stop the words as they poured out.  “Whenever I’m around them I remember more and more of whatever my worst memory is and I wanted to finish remembering it so I could start remembering everything else.”

“Lucretia, I’m sorry that we weren’t around enough for you to tell us this so we could’ve found a safer solution,” said Lup.  “I wanted to start working on a potion for you but then I quit the class and I’m so sorry. I’ll go back.”

“Lucretia, I love you, you’re like my sister,” said Magus, and he was crying.  “I don’t ever want you to have to hurt to get back your memory.”

“Sounds like the big issue here is Lucretia’s memory,” said Barry.  “Preferrably a solution that doesn’t involve dementors.”

“I’ve been learning how to modify spells,” she offered.  “Maybe a modified obliviate?”

“Fuck yeah,” said Taako.

“Excellent,” said Davenport.  “Science people and Lucretia, talk about that one afterwards.  Next issue. Taako’s isolation.”

“I’m isolating myself to keep myself and you all safe,” he said, and pulled his hat further over his face.  “There’s a growing movement in Slytherin to support Lord Voldemort and so I made friends with Malfoy because I think that the only way to keep us all protected is to have somebody on their side.  Also, I’m desperately lonely and I know I’m a huge asshole but I hate being separated from you guys.”

“I’ve heard that a movement separating Voldemort’s side with the Order of the Phoenix is growing,” said Davenport.

Lucretia had started crying without realizing it, and found herself desperately grateful that he hadn’t named her as the confidant.

“I think that for all of us to stay safe we will have to pick sides,” he continued.  “At the very least, we should have one person on each side. But that’s a problem for later, hopefully.”

“As long as we remember that we’re on each others sides first of all,” said Merle.  “I don’t tell you kids this a lot, but you’re my children in all but blood, and I’m so proud of how far we’ve all come.  I love you all.”

“That was the dad-liest thing I’ve ever heard you say,” Lup said.  “Hey, I feel like crying because I don’t really know how to help but I want to so badly so can we take down the zone so I can lie and say I’m fine?”

“Sure thing, kiddo,” said Merle, and started waving his wand.

“You’re technically also a kid,” Barry pointed out as the zone of truth fell.

\---

“Uh, shit, gotta go,” said Taako, grabbing his hat and hustling to the door.  “Good meeting ‘n all, but Taako’s good out here--”

“Nope!” said Magnus, grabbing Taako in a hug and pulling him back to his seat.  “You need a long hug. We all do.”

They embraced in a Hufflepuff meeting room, all seven tangled up together, for a very long time.

\---

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot how much I love Merle y'all, I just love him a lot
> 
> Thanks for reading!! If you're feeling up to it, drop a comment or a kudos! I love hearing back from you guys, it makes my day. <3


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SCIENCE!

“Okay, science crew!” said Lup, grabbing Barry with one hand and Taako with the other.  “Meeting time.”

“I’m an arcana specialist, fuck off,” moaned Taako, allowing himself to be dragged out of the common room.  “I’ve got places to beeeee.”

“Nah, bro, it’s science time,” she said, tugging him forward.

“I, um...” said Lucretia, trying to edge away, but Taako lashed out a hand and grabbed her wrist.

“No fucking way, thug, if I’m here with the boner squad so are you.”

“Barry?” asked Lucretia almost desperately.  “Save me?”

“Mm... nah,” he said, seeming almost perfectly content to be pulled along by Lup.

“Where’re we going?” she asked.

“Library, natch,” Lup said.  “We need books ‘n shit.”

“Won’t there be lots of people there?”  Lucretia didn’t want to deal with their intervention to begin with-- much less around other people.

“Nah, Creesh, it’s Christmas dinner.  We’re gonna celebrate Candlenights next week, though, so no worries.”

“Maybe it’s closed,” said Taako hopefully.

His hopes were dashed when Barry pulled the door open, and Lup dragged the rest of them inside.

Madam Pince raised a finger to shush them, but her angular face fell into a smile when she saw Lucretia.

“Well, Ms. Director,” she said, standing up and moving around the desk.  “I’m glad to see you up and well again.”

“Yes,” she said awkwardly.  “It’s... good to be up.”

“I hope you’ll return to help me after Christmas break?”

“Of course.”

“And you and your... friends...” she trailed off, looking around the library at the others.  Lup was busily dragging a few tables together. Barry was pulling books out of shelves, cracking them open at random, and muttering to himself.  Taako was... sitting on top of one of the shelves. “Are welcome, as long as they follow the rules. Young man!” she glared up at Taako. “Get down from there!”

“I’m stuck,” Taako said plaintively, laying down along the top of the shelf and lazily tossing his wand in the air and catching it again.

“I got this,” Lup said, and hopped up on the table.

Pince reached out her hand and opened her mouth, like she wanted to protest--

But then Lup had levelled her wand at her own feet.

Slowly, slowly, Lup rose into the air with a triumphant crow.  As she yelled, she wobbled, arms pinwheeling wildly in an attempt to stay vertical.

She ended up pressing on Barry’s head for support, and rising back to her feet.  Barry didn’t even look up from the tome he was perusing.

“Ms. Youknow-Fromtivi--”

“No, I got this, I got this,” she insisted, pointing her wand at her feet and rising further and further up until she was level with Taako.

“Wakey wakey, bro bro,” she said, and pointed her wand at him.

Taako lazily shot a hex at her, that Lup quickly rose to avoid.  

“Vegetables and sadness!”  With a dramatic wave of her wand and a yelp from Taako, he wa pushed off of the top of the shelf.

Bowing, Lup floated back down to stand on the table.

“Fuck you, Lulu,” shouted Taako from the other side of the bookshelf.

Pince looked like she was visibly restraining herself.  “Well, I... trust you to keep an eye on them.”

And, in a manner that would be replicated decades later by an exasperated artificer, Pince quickly fled back to her desk, desperately attempting to not look at Taako.

\---

“So, what exactly are we doing?” asked Lucretia, pulling up a chair to the table that Lup was lounging on top of.

“You mentioned something about reconfiguring obliviate, right babe?”

“Oh.  Yeah?”

“So, we’re here to help you.  I’m brilliant-- Taako over there is at least mildly smart--”

“Betrayed by my onliest twin,” he groaned, slumping down-- not in a chair-- but on top of the back of it.

“And Barry’s a huge nerd,” Lup continued like he hadn’t interrupted.

“Love you too, babe,” he said from where he’d disappeared into the shelves.

“So, if you provide the technique, we can help provide some of that good good magical theory.”

Lucretia nodded.  She couldn’t quite believe that she was doing this-- at the library, with her family, actually... working together.

She couldn’t quite believe that after everything that’d happened, she didn’t get her dramatic ending.

Was it so bad to want to be a hero?

Barry re-emerged from the rows of stacks, holding a thick pile of books that stretched from his reaching arms all the way up to be tucked underneath his chin.

“Oh, excellent,” said Lup, sitting up to take half of them.

“Thanks, babe,” he said, plopping down sideways in one of the chairs, legs slung over the armrest.

“You know we’re supposed to be sitting normally, right?” Lucretia asked.

Lup, Barry, and Taako all looked at her.

“We are,” said Barry.

“ _ You’re _ not,” said Taako.

“C’mon, Creesh, live a little,” said Lup with a wide smile.

She rolled her eyes.  Stood up.

Turned the chair around, and sat down, plopping her legs over the back of the chair and leaning forward to hug her knees.  “There. Happy?”

“No,” said Taako.

Lup rolled her eyes.  “So, Luce. Let’s talk about spell modification.”

Barry cracked open one of his books.  Taako leaned forward, twirling his wand through his fingers.

“Let’s do this.”

\---

They made good headway into the spell.  One of Barry’s books had more specific details than Lucretia knew on using arithmancy to reverse a spell.

Taako pulled a long piece of parchment out of thin air, and began scrawling down notes.

“I still think we can do it by reversing all the syllables,” said Lup, laying all the way down on the top of the table.

“Still a no,” said Lucretia.  “It’s all about meaning, and intent--”

“Yeah, yeah, I do that in potions too,” Lup agreed.  “But  _ ugh _ .  With potions you just shove some ingredients together and make sure you have a purpose for each one, and, boom!  You’re set. This is so  _ complicated _ .”

“Good thing I’m an english major,” Lucretia said drily.

Barry glanced over at her.  “Hey, Creesh, how’d’you know that?”

Her brow furrowed.  “Bcause I am one? What... HOLY SHIT BARRY!”

She leapt out of her chair and grabbed the closet person-- Taako-- in a hug.  “Holy shit, that wasn’t in the journals, holy fucking shit, I  _ remembered something _ \--”

“Let go of me before I curse you to the astral plane,” he said, voice hard in a way that she could tell was fake.

“Group hug!” Lup crowed, jumping to her feet and crashing into both of them, nearly knocking them up against the bookshelves. “Get in here, Barr!”

Barry did.

Lucretia had had quite a lot of human contact in the past few hours, and she was beginning to get very tired of it.

“Well, we still haven’t really cracked the spell,” she pointed out, extraciating herself from the hug with some difficulty.  “Should we call it a night?”

Barry yawned as a way of response.

“Cool cool,” said Lup, waving her wand lazily.  The disorderly pile of papers and books on the table flopped in the air, more like a wriggling fish than anything else.

“Ugh,” Taako groaned, and tried the same thing.  It didn’t work, which didn’t surprise Lucretia, because if anything he was messier than his twin.

Smiling good-naturedly and shoving his glasses further up his nose, Barry started piling up their jumbled-up notes.  “We’ll work on this tomorrow?”

“Day after?” Lup asked.  “I need to go to Hogsmeade to get stuff for Candlenights, and I’m dragging Creesh with me.”

“Bedtime,” said Taako, rubbing at his eye and tracking mascara across his face.  When he noticed Lucretia looking at it, he grabbed his tie, and wiped it under his eye.  “I’m good?”

She nodded, and started when Lup grabbed her hand.

“C’mon, babe.  Bye boys!”

“Byeeeee,” sang Taako, leaning up against Barry, who was trying to shove all of the books-- that he most certainly hadn’t checked out-- into his bag.

“Night,” he murmured.

\---

It made sense for Lup and Lucretia to head off together.  Both of them slept in towers. They’d go part of the way up together.

But at the normal junction where Ravenclaws turned left and Gryffindors went straight, Lup turned with her.

“This isn’t the way to your tower,” Lucretia said, faintly nervous at being alone with Lup.  Not scared-- just blushing. “Did the castle shift around again?”

“Oh, nothing like that,” she said.  “I just thought I’d walk you to your dorm.  We could do a sleepover, if you wanted to. Whatever.”

“You didn’t want to do one with Taako and Barry?”

Lup shrugged at her, half-smile painted brilliant across her face.  “Nah, Creesh. I wanted to spend some more time with you.”

Lucretia blushed.

As they approached the door, Lup squeezed her hand gently.  “I like spending time with you.”

\---

_ I think I’m...being watched.  Not in a bad way-- it’s Lup, it couldn’t be-- but more of a... suicide watch.  Which. Fine. It kind of makes sense, in a twisted way. But I didn’t  _ mean  _ to nearly die. _

_ I just hope they relax it by the time school restarts.  I don’t know how I’m gonna make it to No Man’s Land if they’re always on my tail. _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those of you who said "the crew is gonna keep an eye on Lucretia for a bit", well... you're very right!! 
> 
> Anyway....... thanks for reading!! I love you all!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup and Lucretia's sleepover begins!

“This is cool,” Lup remarked as they answered the eagle’s riddle and stepped inside of Ravenclaw’s common room.  Her eyes raked across the huge windows, the lofty, star-painted ceilings. The hoards of bookshelves. The plethora of comfy chairs and beanbags and couches, abandoned for Winter Break.

“Um, yeah,” Lucretia agreed, following half a step behind Lup as she walked towards the towering windows.  “Yeah... I like it.”

“It’s perfect for you,” she agreed, rapping her knuckles against the pane of glass.  “Hey, do these open?”

She looked at the huge window, at the snow outside on the ground.  Up at Lup’s beautiful face, eyes alight with mischief.

“Never hurt to try,” Lucretia said, and pulled out her wand, and pointed it at the glass.  She didn’t know the spell, but she concentrated hard on escape and freedom and the smooth glassy surface of the black lake.  She thought about wind in her hair and laughing and Lup. 

Slowly-- surely-- the huge thing of glass shook, back and forth as though it were rocking itself to sleep.  Lup reached out a hand to motion Lucretia back, eyeing the quivering window with worry--

But it didn’t shatter.  Rather, it slid inside the room, coming to a hovering stop at maybe knee-height.  Lup whooped. “Hell yeah, babe! That’s how we do!” She pulled Lucretia to her side in a triumphant hug.

She practically melted, standing there in Lup’s embrace, staring out over the grounds, chill winter air misting over the two of them.

The other girl let go all too soon, moving forwards towards the empty window hole.  Lup held on tight to the windowsill, and leaned out as far as she could. “You ever flown down this?”

“Uh... no?” Lucretia guessed.  She hadn’t anytime she remembered, and her journals never mentioned it.  “I’ve got a broom, but...”

“Yeah,” she replied, sounding a little bummed out.  “Left mine in my dorm.”

Lucretia turned back to the empty common room, as if wishing it so would pluck a broom out of thin air.  No broomstick appeared-- but the faint reflection of the rising moon on the pane of glass caught her eye.

The  _ floating  _ pane of glass.

Now, that was a thought.

Not a very safe thought, but when had she cared for that?

(Her whole life, but-- she Lup was by her side, now.  Lup, brave and bold and brilliant. She’d got the feeling that she’d always been braver around her.)

“Care to give this a whirl?” she asked, twitching her wand slightly to slowly move the pane forward.

Lup’s eyes lit up.  “Oh, holy pan, Creesh,  _ I love you _ !  This is  _ brilliant _ !”

She said something else, too, but Lucretia’s mind seemed to have thrown her on repeat.   _ I love you!  Creesh, I love you! I love you I love you I love you I-- _

“You good?”

“Oh.”  She started a little.  “Yeah, just... zoned out there for a second.”

“Oh, yeah, no worries babe,” Lup replied, flashing her an excited smile.  “I was just thinking-- so, we’re both onboard with flying this bad boy out the window, right?”

“Absolutely.”

“I don’t want to fall off,” Lup said, brushing her hand along the floating pane of glass.  “And I don’t want your beautiful self getting hurt either.” Lucretia was  _ definitely  _ not blushing.  Not at all. “So what about turning it into something like, I dunno... carpet?  Easier to hold onto?”

“Go for it,” she said, and as she turned towards the window her hand bumped against Lup’s.

She raised her wand, and waved it in a complicated motion.  After a few seconds of wild waving, Lucretia got the feeling that it was more for show than anything-- but the next time she looked down, a rug patterned in woven flame designs floated happily in midair.

“Hell yeah,” said Lup, raised her hand.

Lucretia dutifully high-fived her.  “Should we grab winter stuff?”

She rolled her eyes, but sighed.  “Yeah, you’re right. Don’t want to freeze to death with my favorite gal.”

Blushing?  Lucretia? No way.  No way, whatsoever.

Lup slung an arm around her shoulders, pulled her a little closer.  “Guess you’ll have to show me where the cool kids sleep.”

Lucretia laughed a little.  She felt like she was on fire all over.

_ I love you! _ And  _ an arm around her shoulder  _ and  _ my favorite gal _ \--

Lucretia lifted her hand, and put it within reach of Lup’s slung fingers.  Almost like it was second nature, she twined her fingers through.

Holy  _ shit _ .

Lup didn’t seem to notice, just kept bounding up the stairs like  _ putting her arm over her shoulder  _ and  _ practically holding her hand  _ were completely normal things.

Lucretia normally wasn't one for running up stairs, or anywhere, for that matter.  But with Lup by her side? She could cross the entire planar system.

\---

They dug through Lucretia’s trunk together, tossing sweaters and hats onto the floor in wild abandon.  Lucretia felt like she was glowing from the inside out, and when she laughed as a scarf landed on top of Lup’s head, it didn’t feel forced at all.

Lup found a bottle somewhere in Lucretia’s trunk, tossed it at her.  She managed to catch it before it hit the ground, and turned it over to read the label: Butterbeer.

Hell yeah.

She popped out the cork, took a swig.  Passed it to Lup, who laughed as she drank.  

When they’d finally gotten suited up in every warm piece of clothing Lucretia owned-- and wow, Lup looked cute in her scarf-- they trundled back down the stairs to the common room.

The flying carpet remained where they had left it, floating gently in midair.  Lup turned to Lucretia, offered her a hand.

She took it with a grin, and stepped aboard the rug.

It wasn’t nearly as stable as it looked, and she tipped, falling right back towards Lup.  But her arms-- strong and scarred-- were there to catch her, to steady her on as she hopped up.

It took some maneuvering, but eventually they were laying side by side on their stomachs, gripping the front of the blanket.

“You ready for this, babe?” asked Lup, grinning like something fierce.

Somewhere in the night, Lucretia had dropped her fear.  “Hell yeah.”

Their smiles matched, reflecting moonlight, and they wound their fingers tight into the tassels on the edge of the flying carpet.

“Three-- two-- one-- go!” shouted Lup, and then they were  _ off _ , soaring out the window.

Lucretia yelped, but it soon turned into a shout of delight.

This wasn’t like flying, awkward and unsteady.  This was freedom. This was light.

Slowly, slowly, she unwound her hands from the edge of the carpet as they soared towards the Black Lake.  The other girl’s eyes were alight, grinning at her, as Lucretia raised herself to a sitting position.

The wind whipped through her hair, tossing her scarf behind her, streaming in her wake.  She laughed into the wind, and tasted the mountains in the air.

Next to her, Lup sat up, too.  Below them, the carpet began to slow, to move at a speed enough that they could stay on without holding on for dear life.  They’d descended closer to the lake, too. It reflected the snow-covered mountains, practically close enough to touch.

Lup leaned up against her back.  “Wow,” she breathed, staring out at the scenery around them.  The pines, the snow dusting, the midnight sky. “This is... beautiful.”

Lucretia nodded, once.  “It’s like a breath of air.”

Lup turned to look at her.  She found herself blushing almost at once, caught in the gaze of Lup’s violet eyes like a fly trapped in honey.

“I’m going to kiss you,” she said, like she was making a decision, calm and collected and yet... afraid? all at once.  “Is that okay?”

She leaned forward.  One of her hands was on Lucretia’s leg.

Holy  _ shit _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lup has two hands.
> 
> \------
> 
> Hey, thanks for reading!! I'm really happy with how this chapter turned out, so if you feel like dropping me a kudos or a comment, I'd be much obliged.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As it turns out, everybody has been betting on their love life.

Lucretia couldn’t find the words to answer, so she did the only reasonable thing there was to do, when finding oneself on a flying carpet in a snowy wonderland.

She leaned forward, put a hand on Lup’s shoulder, and fit her mouth to hers.

They pulled apart after a long, breathless moment.  Lucretia was blushing and apologizing immediately. “I’m sorry, I know you and Barry-- I, I’m sorry--”

Lup smiled at her, wild and brilliant, and it felt like her heart was breaking in two.  “I like you just as much as I like him, babe.”

“But-- but--”

“We’ll talk to him, yeah?” she tilted her head and the moonlight caught on the curve of her jaw and _wow_ was Lucretia a disaster lesbian.  “But don’t worry about it, Creesh.  He and I have done stuff like this before--” she felt her brow furrow, what?-- “But just for fun.”

“Is... is that all this is?”

“No, babe, no.  Gods,” Lup said, and she shifted her position on the flying carpet until she was right next to Lucretia, legs slung into her lap.  “I-- I’ve never done it when I’ve wanted it as badly.”

She was _blushing like a fool_ .  Holy _shit_ holy _shit_ holy _shit_ \--

“Please say something,” she said quietly, and-- Lup was _worried_.

Lucretia swallowed back her worries, pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose.  “I’ve loved you since... forever, I suppose.”

She laughed, tossing something beautiful to the lake, to the mountains, to the frigid aid.  “Mutual pining, then, I suppose.”

“Wait... mutual?”

“You’re a lot better than you give yourself credit for, Creesh,” she murmured, and one of her hands trailed it’s way down Lucretia’s arm, and their fingers stumbled for a moment before linking together.  “Of course it’s mutual, babe.”

“I.. I...”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Of course,” Lucretia asked, leaning into her steady warmth.  “Don’t ask.”

She tilted her head up.  Lup caught her jaw with her other hand, and they melted together like they’d always been that way, like they’d never been apart.

Lup and Lucretia kissed on a flying carpet like the world was ending.

\---

_Holy shit._

_Holy shit holy shit holy shit._

_Lup_ kissed _me._

 _Lup said she_ loved _me_.

_And I know there’s also Barry but for now can’t I just revel in this wonderful little thing we’ve found?_

\---

“Late night?” asked Davenport when they stumbled downstairs the next morning, blinking at the bright sun streaming in through the windows of the Ravenclaw common room.

“Something like that, Cap’nport,” Lup yawned, stumbling a little on one of the steps.

Lucretia, slightly more awake, caught her hand to steady her.

It wasn’t cold in the common room.  Someone had replaced the missing window.

“Next time you go flying,” he said, turning back to his book.  “Invite me along.”

Lup grinned and shot him a sleepy finger gun.

Lucretia’s brow furrowed.  “How’d’you...”

Davenport didn’t even look up from his book.  “Taako owes me twenty gold.”

Lup groaned theatrically, throwing an arm over Lucretia’s shoulders and pressing their sides together.  Her long fingers rubbed light circles onto her arm. “Have you been betting on my love life _again_?”

“In fairness,” he replied, “this bet has been on since cycle eleven.”

Both girls were blushing.

“Wow, we sure took our time then, huh babe?” asked Lup, leaning over to kiss her on the cheek.

Holy _shit_.

“You two kids better get some breakfast,” continued Davenport, turning the page of his book.  “It’ll be over soon.”

Lup saluted him lazily, and the two of them stumbled out of the Ravenclaw tower, bundled up in Lucretia’s clothing, sacks of money for Hogsmeade in their pockets.

She had a _date_!

\---

_Oh, shit._

_What about_ Daphne _?  I haven’t known her as long as I’ve known Lup-- I don’t know her like I know Lup-- but-- and this may sound like a useless lesbian (which, I know.  I am.)-- I think I love her too?_

_Shit shit shit._

\---

She shoved thoughts of Daphne out of her head as they meandered through the castle to the Great Hall.  Lucretia knew she probably wasn’t the most exciting person to talk to, but that was okay because Lup was _holding her hand_ and _kissed her_ and _loved her_.

It was mostly empty, the house tables removed with so few students remaining.  Only one person was still at breakfast-- Barry.

Lup smiled, and tugged Lucretia over to him.

She felt the familiar gnawing of anxiety, deep within her stomach, her bones.  “Lup...” she whispered, and she glanced over at her.

Lucretia must’ve looked ashen, because Lup smiled, squeezed her hand hard.  “It’s okay, babe. I’ll talk.”

She nodded, once, trying to swallow down the panic that was rising in her throat.

“Hey, babe,” Lup said, kissing Barry on the cheek as she sat down next to him.

He looked up with cinnamon roll in his mouth, pointed at it, and settled for waving at the two of them until he swallowed.  “Hey, guys. What’s up?”

“I kissed Creesh last night,” she said bluntly.

Lucretia stared straight down into her empty plate.

“Oh,” Barry said, and cut off another piece of cinnamon roll.  “Merle owes me fifty gold.”

Lup smiled at him, softly.  “We’re wondering how that’s going to work out, though.”

“I can...” he hesitated, looking around the room.  “This’s serious?”

“Super serious,” she replied, squeezing Lucretia’s hand with her own, hooking their ankles together under the table.  “I’m very open to polyamory if you two are.”

Barry shrugged.  “I’m good with anything you want, dear.”

“I...” Lucretia faltered, and Lup gave her a brilliant smile.  “I’m not really interested in Barry. I’m very, very gay.”

Barry laughed, happy and round.  “Sounds good, then. We can always talk it out.”

Lup stole a bite of cinnamon roll from his plate. “What’re you doing today, Bear?”

“I’m going to bribe Taako to bother Madam Pince enough that I can steal some books from the Restricted Section,” he said nonchalantly.

Lucretia grinned a little.  “You know I _work with her_ , right?  I can get you what you need.”

He smiled.  “Really?!”

“Sure,” she replied.

Lup slung and arm, warm and steady around her shoulders.  (It made Lucretia feel a little guilty, almost, for not wanting Barry to find No Man’s Land.)  “Well, we’re off to Hogsmeade for the day.”

“Have fun,” he said with a shy smile.

Lup winked at him.  “You know me!”

\---

“Are you sure he’s okay with it?” Lucretia worried as they stepped outside of the warm hall and into the snow-covered morning.

She nodded confidently.  “If he had a problem, he’d say so.  Besides, he’s friends with you.”

“And that won’t make it... awkward?”

She tilted her head a little to the side.  “I mean. I certainly hope not, babe.”

They hurried past the dementors, Lup hurrying, so Lucretia hurried, and before she knew it a chance to remember anything else was gone.

“Are you okay with it?” Lup asked as they wound their way down the road.  She looked nervous, which was a strange look on Lup. Something vulnerable and uncertain that she kept locked away.

She thought about it for a moment.  And then:

“Yeah.  Yeah, I am.”

Her smile was brighter than the crystalline snow all around them.

“Let’s go get some shopping done, then, Creesh.”

They meandered into Hogsmeade.  Stopped off at Zonko’s for prank supplies, and Scrivenshaft’s for quills and fancy inks.

They were pausing at the Three Broomsticks for a warm drink when Lup looked over at Lucretia.  “I need a good nickname for you,” she mused.

“Creesh?”

She shrugged.  “I like it, but everyone calls you that now.  Like, I’m the only one who calls Barry Bear. I want a cute nickname for you too, um... Darling.”

Lucretia laughed, pulling off her mittens to pick up her butterbeer.  “Is Darling the nickname?”

Lup straightened, indignant but her humor given away by her laughing eyes.  “No. Let me try again, Love.”

“Hm.”  Lucretia rolled the word over in her mind as they slid into a booth, side by side, legs pressed up against each other.  “Yeah. I like that.”

A grin, fierce and brilliant, lit up Lup’s face.  “Me too.”

“I just need one for _you_ now.”

“Oh,” she said, and leaned forward on one hand, turning to Lucretia.  “Any ideas from my favorite wordsmith?”

She was absolutely blanking, with Lup looking at her like that.

Her smile softened a little.  “How about I remind you?”

Lup reached out a hand, slowly.  Lucretia moved her head forward. Her warm fingers caught her jaw, her ear, tangling in the back of her hair.

Lucretia mimicked her movements, easing one arm around her side and the other around her neck.  She moved slowly, unsure, really, of what she was doing.

Lup let her, let her go as slow as she needed until their lips met.

She tasted like butterbeer.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I love this good good girls


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fateful Hogsmeade trip!

The shopping trip/date to Hogsmeade went by faster than Lucretia could remember any day going.  She bought Candlenights presents for everyone-- 

Candy or quills for all of the Ravenclaws in her year.  She thought about getting something for the denizens of No Man’s Land, but, no-- that would be too suspicious.

But when she found a set of two parchment papers, enchanted to write to each other-- she couldn’t resist buying them for her and Daphne.  No longer, hopefully, would they have to avoid all connections.

Buying for her family was easier.  

A box of candy for Magnus, complete with side effects such as “Lion’s Roar!” and “Fire Breathing!”

Some new exotic plant for Merle.  It must’ve had some extraordinary properties, because the salesperson wrapped up the Shrivelfig carefully, and warned her against it getting ruptured.

A thick book for Barry, entitled “Inferi: the Darkest of Arts?”.  The man at the till glared suspiciously at her as she took it, and kept glaring until she hurried out of the store.

For Davenport, Lucretia found a pair of flying goggles, enchanted to repel rain or debris in the air.

She bought a pair of earrings for Taako, that said they came with a perfume charm.  Lucretia couldn’t get them to turn on, but he’d figure it out. 

For Lup... well.

Lucretia didn’t even know where to begin, to shop for Lup.

They’d split up for a bit to shop for each other, to make it a surprise.  Which was great, but how did she buy for  _ Lup _ ?

She couldn’t buy something normal, something that she would’ve given her anyway.  Now that they were... whatever they were... normal wouldn’t do at all.

But nothing seemed quite right.  No book, no box of chocolates, could sum up exactly how she felt or how long she’d wanted to be able to give her something from the heart.

Lucretia wandered through Hogsmeade.  As their hour separate grew near to an end, she found herself panicking more and more--

And when she was panicked, she went to a place she felt comfortable in.

Which, perhaps, was how she found herself in a tiny, paint-stained, magical art store.  It was maybe half the size of the normal shop, with a thatched roof and cheerful wooden floorboards.  Everywhere were paint splatters.

The walls were painted, too, covered with paintings and sculptures, adhered everywhere, dangling from the ceiling, in constant motion.

She loved it immediately.

Winding her way through displays of paints and brushes and magical easels and everything in between, she made her way up to the till.

A girl-- maybe in her late teens-- with cheerful pink hair and a quick smile glanced up at her.  “Hello, I’m Tonks, welcome to the Art Room, can I help you?”

“Um,” said Lucretia elegantly, a little bit overwhelmed by her sheer presence.  “Yes. I’m looking for a gift...”

“Late Christmas present?  Cool.” Tonks hopped off of her stool-- sending it crashing to the floor behind her-- and moved into the shop.  “Looking for anything in particular?”

“I... I do oil paints, I want to pick up some, and, um a canvas... make her a present...”

“Rad,” she said, pulling out a wand.  Through the air flew a handful of canvases, brushes, paints, falling in a messy pile by the till.  “It’s crazy in here, you can pick through them over there.”

Lucretia nodded her thanks.

“You want anything for the girl you’re buying for?”  She turned around to consult a bulletin board that hung in midair that Lucretia hadn’t even noticed.  “We’ve got a paint night coming up, you could get tickets for that. Or... I dunno... what’s she like?”

Lucretia-- the journal keeper, the wordsmith, couldn’t find words to fit to Lup.  “She’s...” how could she even begin to describe her? “She’s... phantasmal. Resplendent.”

Tonks winked at her.  “Sounds like she’s a good one.”

She nodded.  “The best.”

She perched on the edge of the counter, swinging her legs like a little kid.  “If you’re looking to brainstorm gift ideas, I’m pretty good at that. And I don’t have anything better to do.”

“I... I’d like that.”

Tonks grinned, waved her wand, and a chair shot out from somewhere and almost crashed into Lucretia’s legs.  “Have a sit. And tell me  _ all about  _ this girl.”

“Her name’s Lup,” she began, and was already blushing.  “I, um, we...”

The older girl just nodded, with a cheeky wink like she knew exactly what she meant.  “Go on.”

“She likes, um, fire?  Cooking? Blowing things up?   Violin? She’s very, um, opinionated.  But I want to give her something... nice.”

Tonks nodded, looked like she was musing it over.  “Hey, what’s your budget like?”

“Uh.  I don’t... really have one.”

She lit up with a smile.  “Well. There’s a shop down the road called Dominic Maestro’s Music Shop, or something like that.  I heard-- just a rumor, mind you-- that they’ve been running some cool experiments with  _ magical  _ instruments.  Could give that a whirl.”

Lucretia nodded, tucked the idea away for future Candlenights.  “I want it to be something... special,” she finally said.

Tonks nodded, rocked back on the palms of her hands.  “A big occasion, huh?”

She nodded, blushing.  

“Well.  There’s two usual paths for this sorta thing.  Something expensive-- a ring or a pet or so-- or something heartfelt.  You’re a painter, uh-- what’s your name?”

“Oh.  Lucretia.”

She smiled.  “You a painter, Lucretia?”

“Yep.”

“Paint her something,” Tonks suggested.  “Your favorite memory together. Bring it back in, and I can enchant it so it moves.  Normally that costs extra--”

“--I can pay--”

“Hey!”  She winked at her, hopped off the counter and moved behind the till.  “Let me be nice, yeah? I can enchant it for you so it moves.”

“That would be wonderful,” she said, and followed Tonks to the messy pile of oil paints and canvases and ridiculously intricate palettes.  "And, um.  Can I get those tickets?"

\---

When she rejoined with Lup, the other girl was carrying a huge, bulky package in her arms.  Upon Lucretia’s asking what it was, she merely laughed, and planted a kiss on her cheek.

“You’ll find out in a few days,” she said, laughing.  The cold had turned her cheeks and ears red.

Shouldering a handful of her packages, Lucretia leaned over, pulled Lup’s scarf up further.  She grinned at her, smiling sheepishly at her full hands.

“Put your arm around my shoulder?” Lup asked hopefully when she retracted it.  “It’s cold and I can’t hold your hand.”

She did so with a smile, hoisting her bags up and around her.

How had she gone seventy plus years without this?

Being with Lup...

Even just like this, so casual, and yet so full of life...

This was good, this was wonderful.

This was  _ everything _ .

\---

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just really love these girls okay, I swear I'll get to plot soon


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucretia paints. Taako has an idea. Fisher makes a long-awaited appearance.

They’d planned for their annual Space Candlenights five days from then, which sent Lucretia to painting in a panic.  Normally she’d spend weeks on a painting this big, spend even longer for one for _Lup_.

But even after seventy years, Lucretia didn’t have time.  She had five days, which meant it would be messy and personal and upfront.

She jumped straight into it, mixing paints for hours, spending late evenings and early mornings flying on the carpet by herself over the Black Lake for the best view.

Lucretia worked on her painting for Lup with a vengeance.  She poured her time into it, her sweat, her tears. But slowly, day by day, it began to take shape.

She didn’t lock herself up to paint, though.  She’d learned her lesson-- a little bit, at least-- about shutting herself away.  Plus, nobody would leave her alone.

Lup was good, at least, about not bothering her when she said she was painting.  But then Magnus would appear outside the tower, on his broomstick, knocking on the window to be let inside.

Or Davenport would force her to the common room, to listen to a new opera piece he was working on while she painted.  Or Merle would come with one of his plants, or Taako would come with a bottle of nail polish and refuse to take no for an answer.

Barry came, too, and she began to know him better than ever before.

Barry Jay Bluejeans, real name Sildar Hallwinter.  Shy, anxious, scientist, necromancer, lich. Fighter, wizard, rogue, cleric... and probably half a dozen other classes besides.

The other person Lup was dating.

And even knowing that, Lucretia couldn’t bring herself to hate him at all.  He was just too... Barry-like. Anxious and cautious and brilliant all at once.  He waxed poetic about bonds and Lup and love and death. One late night, he accidentally-possibly disproved a law of physics.  He made bad puns and laughed at Lucretia’s shitty jokes and talked about Lup like she was something precious and wild.

\---

There were two days before Candlenights when Taako called an emergency meeting of, as he called it, “The Nerds and the Only One With Good Fashion Sense.”

(“It’s nice to know I’ve been singled out,” said Lup with a wink at his name.  One of her hands was intertwined with Barry’s, the other with Lucretia’s. “But consider this-- the Best Couple and Also Taako.”

He stuck his tongue out, she let go of Barry’s hand to flip him off, and the corridor echoed with their laughter.)

“So, I’ve got a plan,” Taako said confidently, leading them away from the library.  “It involves our favorite fish boi. And some minor theft, but hey, what’s new?”

“Theft?” asked Lup, sounding excited.

“Theft?” asked Barry, sounding skeptical.

“What’re we stealing?” asked Lucretia.

“Wait and see,” he replied, flipping his long braid over his shoulder with a flourish.  “Wait and see.”

Fortunately, they didn’t have to wait long.  Taako marched right up to a dark wooden door that Lucretia vaguely recognized as Snape’s office.  He unlocked it with his wand, and shoved it open dramatically.

Well, he tried to.  It didn’t open.

After a long moment, Lup let go of their hands, and pulled it, arching one eyebrow at her brother.

“Fuck off,” he said half-heartedly, his heels clacking on the stone dungeon floor as he led their way into the office.  “So."

“Yes?” asked Barry, pushing his glasses further up his nose and peering around the office with great interest.

Taako gestured wildly with both of his arms-- a move that decades later would be stolen by Fantasy Will Smith-- and pointed directly at Fisher in their tank.  The voidfish spun happily, bright lights flashing from their kaleidoscope bell.

“We’re stealing Fisher,” Lup said, deadpan before breaking into a lazy grin.  “Why?”

“Uh.  Duh. It’s my genius idea,” he said, picking his way around Snape’s desk to the tank.  “Fisher deals in memories, right? So if anybody is gonna help us with some memory stuff, it’s gonna be them.”

“I’m _not_ drinking any more of the liquid,” Lucretia said firmly, shaking her head for added effect.  “That shit was nasty.”

Lup made a face, peering closer at the inky ichor.  “Yuck. Can’t blame you there, babe.”

Barry raised his wand.  “Should we maybe steal Fisher before we start theorizing?”

“Uh, no,” Taako said, leaning up against the desk.  “We’ve got permission to be here.”

It was Lucretia’s turn to raise an eyebrow, but Taako just stared her down, cool and confident until she shrugged.  “Your head.”

“Actually,” he smirked, tiny smile playing on his lips, “It’s more like yours.”

\---

“So here’s the full plan,” he continued as they settled on the dungeon floor around Fisher’s tank.  “We borrow the light of creation, and work with Fisher and the _obliviate_ spell to modify it to return memories instead of stealing them.”

“We, uh, we tried that,” Barry protested.  “And we couldn’t get anywhere.”

But Lup’s eyes had lit up with something remarkably like fire themselves.  “No, babe, this is _brilliant_!  Why haven’t we thought of this before!”

And suddenly, Lucretia understood.

The light of creation.

The force that built the universes, that engineered the Starblaster, that composed the bond engine.  The brilliant bolt of inspiration that sent them on their journey almost a century ago.

The light of creation, the light of _inspiration_.

If anything could help their combined scientific brilliance to work together and redo the spell and fix Lucretia’s memories, that was it.

“So you want us to steal the light,” Barry said.

Taako nodded, leaning back on his hands, looking ridiculously smug.

“Babe,” Lup said, peering at him quizzically.  “Taako. My onliest brother. Davenport’s got the light.  We can just _ask_ him for it.”

“Bo-oring,” he complained, rolling his eyes.

Lup rolled her eyes back at him.  “Hey, babe, do you wanna go ask Dav for the light?”

“Sure,” said Barry and Lucretia in unison.  They blushed in unison, too, and Taako laughed.

“Have Barold send his owl or something.”

“I don’t _carry Jorts in my pocket_ ,” Barry protested, but rose to his feet anyway.  “I’ll be back soon with the light.”

“Cool cool,” said Lup, shooting finger guns at him.  

Taako saluted lazily.

Lucretia gave him an awkward thumbs up, and the door thudded shut behind him and his bluejeans.

“So, going back to the spell,” she said, pulling out her sheaf of parchments.  “Do you guys think that enunciating the third syllable...”

\---

Barry returned with the light.  He also returned with a tray of coffee and muffins, and Davenport, and Merle, and Magnus.  

“What the fuck are you all doing here,” asked Taako, tone cold.  “Seriously. What the fuck.”

“Fisher!” said Magnus.

“The light,” said Davenport.

“Dav,” said Merle.

“Um.  I thought I was supposed to be?” said Barry, incredibly confused.

Taako rolled his eyes.  Lup moved her hand on the cold dungeon floor to trap Lucretia’s between her long, brown fingers.

And _of course_ !  Why hadn’t she _thought_ of that before?

\---

Lucretia took the light from Davenport with eager hands, eyes alight.  She knew _exactly_ what needed to be done.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... I know, cliffhanger, sorry...


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucretia figures it out. Lup worries. Magnus just wants Space Candlenights already.

She moved quick as a phoenix, here and there and back again.  Between their piles of parchment, to Fisher’s tank, back to the light.  To Lup, and to her wand, and to Taako, transfiguring a small cup for her out of a spare quill.

The world around her-- her family, and Snape’s office, and Fisher’s soft glow-- seemed to blur together.  Things came into focus in strange order.

First, the light was clear and shining, brilliant and bright.  Next, Fisher-- and then Taako’s wand, and then the parchment pile, and then Lup--

Lucretia followed the clarity where it led her until her limbs grew faint and the world buzzed around her and occasionally flickered black and white.  She was swaying a little-- and Magnus was there, holding her up and saying something that wasn’t in focus-- but all Lucretia could see was the paper she held in front of her, triumphant.

A victory torch.

The spell, and a quick notation underneath it.

 

_Recordatun*_

_*Usable only in close contact with dementors_.

 

A triumphant smile lit her face as the world fell all the way out of focus, and Lucretia was gone.

\---

“Gotta say,” said Lup.  “I hate seeing you stuck in bed.”

“You could just let me get up,” Lucretia protested, because Candlenights was _tomorrow_ and her painting still needed highlights and to be matted and signed and framed and her other presents needed to be wrapped and--

“You fainted,” she worried, sitting on the edge of her mattress, sinking it down.  “And Dav and Barry both confirmed that working in such close contact with the light for so long isn’t good for anybody’s health.”

“I’m _fine_ ,” she insisted.  “Look! I’m totally fine.”

Lup rolled her eyes, a smile crashing onto her face.  “Sure, babe.”

Lucretia lifted a hand to Lup’s face, slowly cradling her soft cheek, drew her face closer to her own.  “I need to work on my painting,” she whispered, Lup’s breath hot on her lips. “Which means you need to skedoodle.”

She barked out a surprised laugh, an up-pitched snicker that made Lucretia laugh as their faces bumped together.

They stayed together for a long time.

“Are you sure you need to work on the painting?” Lup said, half a plea and half a whine, curled up against Lucretia’s side.  “Couldn't we just... stay?”

“I wish,” she murmured into Lup’s pixie cut, ran her fingers through it.  Lup caught them in her own, brought them to her lips. Bit down lightly.

“Sure?” she asked again, curling closer, one hand trailing across Lucretia’s back.

“Well, a little longer couldn’t hurt,” she agreed with a soft smile, shifting closer to her.

“Hell yeah,” Lup breathed.

Their time together was all too short, but Lucretia really did need to work on her painting and her Candlenights projects.  Lup headed out of her dorm room dutifully, planting one last kiss on her cheek.

Still blushing faintly, Lucretia levitated her supplies over to her bed.  She picked up her detail brush, and began to paint.

\---

“SPACE CANDLENIGHTS! SPACE CANDLENIGHTS!”

Magnus’s boisterous voice echoed up the Ravenclaw tower.  “SPACE CANDLENIIIIIIIGHTS!”

It was fuck o’clock in the morning, and Lucretia woke up with bleary eyes and possibly hating him.  Outside her wide window, it was still dark.

As she slowly dragged herself out of bed and double-checked her pile of Candlenights presents to give, she heard footsteps from the corridor, and then another voice.

“Magnus,” said Davenport, in the voice he reserved for the most Stupid of Ideas or when he was tired.  “What. Just, what the _fuck_.”

“It’s Space Candleniiiiights!” Magnus shouted.  “Is Creesh up? We gotta go! It’s _Space Candlenights!_ ”

“So we’ve heard,” said Davenport drily.  “Lemme go get dressed, you can wake her up.”

She went on hyperdrive-- pulling on pants and a sweater and a vest and boots and a cloak and every scarf in her trunk.

Even so, Lucretia was still turning over her room looking for her wand when Magnus burst in through the door.

“MAGNUS!” he shouted, and looked somewhat disappointed to find her already awake.  He bounced right back, though. “Creesh! It’s _Space Candlenights!!!!!_ ”

“Thanks, Mags,” she yawned, plucking her wand from beneath a pillow.  “Why’m’I up so early though?”

He grinned. “We gotta take off without being seen by the other students who’re here for Candlenights-- wait, no, Christmas.  Yeah, that. But, c’mon! I already carried Taako to the ship, I can carry you too.”

“Tempting,” Lucretia replied, deadpan, and levitated her pile of presents.  “I think I’ll pass.”

“Let’s go then,” he said, practically bouncing back and forth.  “It’s _Space Candleniiiiiiights!”_

\---

The march to the Starblaster was long and cold, made longer and colder by the more obscure parking spot.  Lucretia was thankful that she could walk in Magnus’s tracks, and didn’t have to blaze a way through the deep snow herself.

Above them, the faintest hints of dawn had begun to color the sky.  Lucretia admired the light reflecting and refracting off of the snow-heaped pines, the way they rose dark silhouettes.

“Can we go a little faster?” asked Davenport from behind them.  He was in the back, levitating snow to cover the tracks they made, and was apparently getting bored of their slow pace.

“Nope,” said Magnus cheerfully, stepping into a snowbank and immediately plunging down to his chest.  

Lucretia looked at her floating packages somewhat guiltily.  Of course she’d brought the flying carpet, but it wasn’t really a _team_ thing.  

It was a _her-and-Lup_ thing.

“Hey guys!” shouted Magnus, and his heavy steps picked up as he ran faster through the snow.  

Lucretia squinted against the rising sun, and yes-- there, in the distance, ensconced in a cluster of aspen trees, was the Starblaster, painted gold in the morning light.

A smile split across her face.

Arms flailing, breath panting, Lucretia ran towards her home.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all you lovely folk for reading!!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SPACE CANDLENIIIIIIIGHTS!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (sorry it's late, everyone! life has been crazy)

They settled back into the Starblaster like they'd never left. Davenport sat in front of the steering wheels, brilliant smile painting his face. Lucretia, standing at the helm, was perhaps the only one close enough to hear him whisper, “Let’s dance.”

With that statement, she felt the silver hull of the ship begin to vibrate beneath her hands, like the purr of a cat. She smiled, too, as the Starblaster - slowly at first, then faster and faster - began to rise.

Beneath them, the snowy forest spread. Davenport spun the ship, pointing the hull towards the sky. As he aimed for the heavens, Lucretia looked down, over the edge.

Far below, but rising quickly beneath them, was a swarm of dark shapes. She pushed her glasses up her nose, squinted at them until -

“Go!” she screamed, half-falling back from the railing. “ _Go_!”

Perhaps it was her warning, or perhaps it was simply how he flew the ship, but the speed they blasted forwards at flung her back against the railing. Held there by whiplash and her desperate hands, Lucretia could see below them as the dementors pursued them out of the plane, and then - they were out, and they were safe.

Underneath and all around the ship glittered the rainbow planes, dancing a slow rotation.  She smiled, slightly, and turned back with a sigh of relief. They had made it, they were out, they were about to start -

“SPACE CANDLENIIIIIIGHTS!”

Davenport jumped, tipping his chair backwards with a loud thump.  She heard him mutter, “Worse than the beach year.”

But his excitement was contagious, and Lucretia could feel herself getting swept away by it.  They’d left their troubles behind with the Plane of Magic. Here, in the starlit space between planes, everything was real and possible once again.

“C’mon, Creesh!” Magnus shouted, grabbing her hand.  “C’mon, Lup’n’Taako just kicked me out of the kitchen and Barry pulled out Cards Against Humanity and I left Merle talking to a cactus but everybody’s excited!”

“Security Officer Burnsides,” said Davenport.  “Is everything secure? No threats? No unwanted creatures onboard?”

Magnus flexed.  Had he not already changed into a sleeveless shirt, Lucretia would’ve fully expected the sleeves to pop off.

“Nothing but _these puppies_!”

Davenport sighed, but she got the feeling that he was hiding a smile with his moustache.  “Magnus -”

“Cap’n’port?”

“Tell Lup to not put chili powder in the hot chocolate, please.”

He looked a little guilty.  “Uh... too late!”

And, pulling Lucretia along behind him, they fled the deck.  Behind them, she could hear Davenport sigh, and then laugh a little.

\---

“I didn’t know we had a Cards Against Humanity set, babe,” said Lup as she sprawled at the table.  Next to her, Barry shuffled the cards.

“Yeah,” Taako added, dropping a mug of suspiciously reddish hot chocolate on the table.  “I thought Magnus ate it.”

“Hey!” he protested.  “You dared me to!”

“No, we got another one,” Barry said mildly.  “But then we used it for kindling on Cycle 32.”

“Ew,” said Taako.  “Yeah, that sucked.”

Lup punched him in the arm.  “You died early, fuck off.”

“You fuck off!”

It looked as though they were about to descend into a full-blown twins war, before Barry cleared his throat.  “I’m ready to start,” he said.

The five of them clustered around the table, and grabbed their decks of cards.  Lucretia flipped through hers - she didn’t recognize any of them. Which, given the memory loss, wasn’t exactly surprising, but... “Hey, where’d we get these?”

“I made them,” Barry muttered.

Magnus whooped, and clapped him on the back.

Lup looked down at her cards, slung a leg into Lucretia’s lap.  “Hm, yeah,” she grinned. “I can tell.”

“Okay, black card,” said Magnus, grabbing one from the pile.  “Blank, that’s how I want to die.”

She leafed through her own cards again, before smiling and shoving a white card in front of him.  The others quickly followed, and Magnus closed his eyes to shuffle them around on the table.

“Okaaaay,” he said.  “Blank, that’s how I want to die.  Eating a goddamn rock; saving the fucking universe; peacefully; middle finger in the air.”  There was a pause as everybody looked at Barry. “These are _so fucking specific_ ,” Magnus said.

He nodded, shoving his glasses further up his nose.  “Uh, yeah. They’re, um, about the past, uh... seventy years?”

Lup pressed a kiss to his cheek.  “Fuck yeah.”

Taako kissed his other cheek.  “Not bad, Barold.”

“Get your own man,” Lup shouted to him.

“I can’t when you’ve stolen _two-thirds of the eligible members_ on board this ship!”

Lup laughed, and stuck her tongue out at him.

“Peacefully, that’s how I want to die,” Magnus declared.  

“Sounds boring,” Taako grumbled.

“Who played peacefully?”

Lucretia raised her hand, and he shoved the card towards her.  “Your turn!”

She flipped over a black card.  “Okay. Um, oh, this is a good one - What’s that smell?”

The others were quick to place their cards, Lup laughing as she threw hers down, and Lucretia read them aloud.  “What’s that smell? Taako’s horde of unwashed laundry -”

He squawked indignantly-

“Science in the microwave; voidfish juice; Merle’s... oh my gods, no.  No, I can’t read that.”

As though summoned by her words, the dwarf waddled into the kitchen, crooning to a potted plant.  Everybody at the table automatically averted their eyes.

“What does it say?” asked Lup, sounding like she was on the verge of laughter.

In response, Lucretia just slid her the card.

“Merle’s... plant fetish,” she managed, before dropping her head into her hands.

“Why’re you talking about me?” asked Merle, meandering over to the table, looking curious.

“Nothing!” shouted Magnus.

\---

Lup and Taako had produced a veritable feast for Candlenights dinner.  “It’s _much_ better than the shit they serve us at the school, natch,” he pronounced as the crew sat down to eat.

“Oh yeah,” Lup agreed.  “We gotta get that figured out.  Teach the cooks what a _spice_ is.”

“Break into the kitchens.”

“Start a mutiny.”

“Demand sacrifices.”

“Go-”

“Nobody is staging any sort of mutiny,” said Davenport.

“But Dad’n’port,” Lup complained.  “C’mon...”

He shook his head.  “Sit down, you two. Lup, whatever pda you do at the kitchen table becomes pda that I am also allowed to do.”

Looking horrified, she shifted off of Lucretia’s lap.  “Sorry, Creesh,” she muttered. “Some things I can’t see.”

“He never said it didn’t go the other way thought,” Taako pointed out smugly.

Shooting him a smile, Lucretia perched on Lup’s lap.  At the head of the table, Davenport sighed.

\---

When Lucretia gave Lup her present, the other girl actually started crying, and then swiping angrily at her eyeliner.  “Holy shit, Creesh,” she managed, tracing one thin finger along the curve of the mountains on the painting. “This is... this is beautiful.”

Lucretia was blushing pretty hard herself, and blushed even more as Lup handed her her present.

“I thought we could, um, make a day of it sometime,” Lup said as Lucretia unwrapped another flying carpet, bearing the tag, ‘New and Improved!  Built in Coffee Maker!’ in Lup’s handwriting.

“I’d love that,” Lucretia managed.

Lup smiled, pulled her in for kiss.  “I’m glad.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Starblaster returns to the Plane of Magic. Shenanigans with... time?... happen.

It was nice, being back in her adult body - but it was definitely a weird sensation to feel herself shrinking back to thirteen years old as the Starblaster descended into the Plane of Magic.  Davenport was taking them down carefully, slowly, which meant Lucretia could watch her hands shrink and calluses lessen, her hair turn from white to black.

She was up on the deck again.  After some cajoling, Taako had told her that, yes, that was where she’d spent a lot of her time even when she did remember.  Lucretia really did love it up there.

Even though a barrier protected her from the winds and forces of going so so fast, it felt like she was really  _ right there _ , experiencing the stars and the planes and the world for herself.  She could peer over the railing enough to stare through the clouds and down to the green and blue below.

The clouds beneath them this time were gray with winter and swollen with snow.  She could feel the chill along her young arms, and Lucretia wished she’d thought to put on more than one sweater.  The Starblaster, glistening silver, plunged straight through them, swooping towards Hogwarts below.

Lucretia watched as the distant plane grew closer and closer, until she could pick apart cities and rivers and roads.  Until she could see the tiny dot of Hogwarts, waiting to welcome them home.

But the castle rose towards them faster than it should have.  Lucretia turned to Davenport, worry painting her face.

“What’re we-”

_ Boom _ .

She looked up, towards the edge of the ship, and screamed.  

In front of her, on the other side of the protective barrier, hovered a monster she’d only seen in half-conscious dreams, with a rotting black robe and skeletal, grasping hands.

“Lucretia, move!” shouted Davenport behind her, but she felt trapped in place, frozen in front of the dementor and the rush of static.

She felt a hand grab hers, tug her backwards and away.  She shook her head, almost desperately, trying to free her vision from the static that played at its edges.  It didn’t work, but they had bigger problems.

Davenport and Lucretia ran for the next deck as a horde of dementors congregated on the shield, pulling at it with their too-long fingers, rattling their breath and spilling through the broken shield towards them -

Wasn't there a spell for this?

Wasn’t she supposed to be  _ doing  _ something?

But Lucretia, overcome by static and tears and Davenport’s shouting voice, couldn’t recall the word.  All she could see was static, static, black and white and black and white, going fuzzier and fuzzier and then -

\---

The clouds beneath them this time were gray with winter and swollen with snow.  She could feel the chill along her young arms, and Lucretia wished she’d thought to put on more than one sweater.  The Starblaster, glistening silver, plunged straight through them, swooping towards Hogwarts below.

Lucretia watched as the distant plane grew closer and closer, until she could pick apart cities and rivers and roads.  Until she could see the tiny dot of Hogwarts, waiting to welcome them home.

But the castle rose towards them faster than it should have.  Lucretia turned to Davenport, worry painting her face.

“What’re we-”

_ Boom _ .

She looked up, towards the edge of the ship, and screamed.  

In front of her, on the other side of the protective barrier, hovered a monster she’d only seen in half-conscious dreams, with a rotting black robe and skeletal, grasping hands.

Suddenly there was a hand, grabbing hers, tight and desperate. She stumbled as Davenport yanked her away from the dementors, a golden chain bouncing around his neck.

“Go, go, go!” he shouted as they ducked into the stairwell. He slammed the door behind them, flung the lock shut. 

“Lucretia,” he said, and she did her best to blink wayward static out of her vision. “Go tell the others we’re under attack.”

Her head was fuzzy and she wasn't entirely aware of what was happening, but he was her Captain, and she followed the order immediately. 

“Magnus!” she shouted as she ran further into the belly of the Starblaster. “Taako, Lup, Barry -”

Into the hall in front of her stumbled Merle. His door swung open like a wound. The half of Lucretia’s brain that wasn't busy being consumed by static noted the faint breeze of an open porthole. 

But she was a lot more worried about the dementors that had its hands on Merle’s neck, forcing their heads together. Lucretia screamed as she watched his face begin to stretch and pull and-

A spell bloomed unprompted from her wand, half of a shield, splitting the grotesque embrace. 

Merle lay on the floor and did not get back up. Her shield hovered brilliant over him and her vision was turning to static-

She could see the dementor reaching for her, undeterred by the shield that bloomed and fell in the same moment. It's hands, cold, were on her neck - her arms had gone limp -

Behind her, someone screamed, wild and feral. 

Lucretia watched a brilliant streak of flame burst in front of her eyes as the world turned to static, black and white and gray and fuzzy and -

\---

It was nice, being back in her adult body - but it was definitely a weird sensation to feel herself shrinking back to thirteen years old as the Starblaster descended into the Plane of Magic.  Davenport was taking them down carefully, slowly, which meant Lucretia could watch her hands shrink and calluses lessen, her hair turn from white to black.

She was up on the deck again.  After some cajoling, Taako had told her that, yes, that was where she’d spent a lot of her time even when she did remember.  Lucretia really did love it up there.

She wasn’t there for long, though.  Barry, glasses askew, burst through the doors at a speed she’d rarely seen from him before.

“We’re gonna be attacked by dementors,” he shouted, racing towards her and Davenport.  “In, uh-” he checked his watch- “Fifteen minutes!”

They stared at him.

“How do you-”

“Just trust me, okay?” Barry begged.  A golden necklace with some spinning, circular pendant hung around his neck.

Davenport looked hard at the necklace, then back at him, and nodded.  “Okay. What do we need to do?”

“Tell Merle to close his window,” Barry said, panting a little.  “Nobody can be on deck. We need to, uh - uh, get Lucretia’s spell, and, uh - find a spell to repel dementors - Creesh, I saw you do some shield thing that worked-”

She stopped in her tracks.  “What the  _ fuck  _ are you talking about?”

“Please, there’s not time to explain -” he grabbed her hand, pulled her towards belowdecks.  “Please, Creesh, if we get out of this, I’ll explain everything, okay? Please. Trust me.”

She looked at him, at his nerdy glasses and sweaty face and brown eyes.  She weighed her fate against her memory and nodded. And Lucretia... chose trust.

“Go get your spell,” he said.  “And then we need to figure out that shield spell.”

They were in the main belly of the Starblaster, hurrying through the hallway.  Out of one of the rooms barreled Davenport and Merle, wands at the ready.

“Lup! Taako! Magnus!” Davenport shouted, banging on their doors as he hurried back towards the upper deck.  “We’re about to be under attack!”

Magnus, as he was prone to do, rushed in to the hallway, running into Lucretia and almost knocking her over.

“Sorry,” he said, small hands displaying his wand and a knife.  “What’s going on?”

“Dementors,” Davenport said.  “Find Lup and Taako.”

“Will do.”

Magnus rushed out.

\---

She hurried into her quarters, picked up the spell parchment.  “Recordatun,” she murmured, shifting her wand in her fingers. “Recordatun.”

“C’mon, Lucy Loo,” said Merle from her doorway.  “You’ve got some sort of shield spell to teach us?”

“The one you used, um... the one you use,” said Barry, extremely unhelpfully.

“I don’t  _ know _ ,” she bit out.  “I don’t know! I haven’t used a shield spell like that, I haven’t, I dunno... I just... think about protection and stuff and make a shield.”

From further down the corridor came a scuffling sound, and the horrible sounds of breathing far too deep, for far too long.

Lucretia looked at Barry and Merle.  The three of them raised their wands in unison, and fell into the corridor.

In front of them, Davenport was furiously battling the dementors, but being thrust back back back.  “Lucretia!” he barked, shooting off a small shield that quickly fizzled out of existence. “Cast your spell!”

As the dementor’s chill grew closer and closer, Lucretia forced her wand to steady, did her best to blink away the flickers of static in her vision.  All around her were Barry and Merle and Davenport, wands flailing, shields bursting into life and popping like bubbles.

Focus, she thought.

And Lucretia raised her wand and shouted, “Recordatun!”

\---

Holy shit - she was Lucretia Director, and her moms on Tosun V - and the way the voidfish ichor tasted on Legato - and Taako’s baller cookies, and the way Lup smiled when she made pasta - and the year she spent alone - and, and, and -

Hands were on her shoulders, dragging her backwards, and someone was speaking, but she was reeling from ninety years of forgotten memories remembered, and she couldn’t focus on their words because a thousand days of her family were filling her mind and -

She could see Taako’s famous lime green hat and Magnus’s sleeveless shirt and Lup’s smile as the world went static, static, black and white and black and white, going fuzzier and fuzzier and then -

\---

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, that one's a doozy. Hope it made sense...
> 
> Anyway, thanks so much for reading!!! I love you guys!


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One more person has a timeturner, and they put it to good use.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you start this chapter, I just want to say a massive THANK YOU to all of you! You've stuck with me this far, and I'm so thankful for you. <3

CHAPTER 21

Space Candlenights, as Magnus termed it, was coming to a close.  Lucretia was in the kitchen with Taako and Barry, pestering each other about the best way to make hot chocolate, and whether the kind with the built-in peppermint was actually any good.  (It wasn’t.)

Someone came bursting through the swinging door.

Now, someone doing that wasn’t unusual.  On the Starblaster, Magnus only  _ rushed _ , and Lup  _ ran _ , and Davenport  _ hurried _ .  Even Merle  _ waddled _ .

However, it wasn’t Magnus wanting to get in on the cocoa discussion, or Merle to refill his watering can, or Lup to drag them all out of the kitchen so she could make cookies.  No, through the door ran  _ Taako _ \- Taako, with his braid all fuzzy and a large tear along the brim on his hat.  Taako, with a shimmering golden necklace hanging around his neck.

“What the fuck,” said the Taako who had been making hot chocolate.

“Oh, fucking shit,” sighed the Taako with the necklace.

Barry looked between them, looking like his mind was running a thousand miles a minute.  “Wait,” he said to the new Taako. “Are you back in time?”

“Got it in one, my man.”

“Oh,” breathed hot choco-Taako.  “Oh, shit. We gotta play a prank on Lup, but -”

“If I’m here there’s probably a good reason, right,” they agreed in unison.

“Uh, does someone want to explain what the fuck is going on?” asked Lucretia, eyeing the double Taakos.

“I’ve got a Time Turner,” they said, in unison once more.  

“I travelled back four hours,” said necklace Taako.  “Because the ship gets attacked by dementors on our way down and I was the last one alive.”

“Shit,” said Barry, glancing down at a golden necklace he had unearthed from his own sweater.  “I guess I failed?”

“Yup,” said necklace Taako, popping the p.  “You did better than Dav, though.”

“So this is our last time,” surmised hot choco-Taako.

“You know,” Lucretia said, looking between them again, “I really understand nothing about what’s going on, but what the fuck?”

“Yeah, good call,” the Taakos said.

The door banged open.  In the doorway stood Lup and Davenport.

Lup’s mouth was open to speak, but instead it just hung there, gaping, as the two of them took in the scene of the double Taakos.

“You’re gonna catch a fly,” said the Taakos.

Lup shut her mouth.

“What the actual everloving fuck,” asked Davenport.

Necklace Taako, with some help from Barry, did his best to explain what had happened to the Starblaster in the timeline he had come from.  About how every other person onboard had gotten their soul sucked out by dementors. About how Davenport and Barry had already tried to go back in time to fix it, and this was their last chance.

“We need Lucretia to keep up shield spells,” Taako said.  “And then I think somebody else will have to cast her, uh, her spell on her.”

“Why can’t we help with shields?” asked Lup, who still looked bemused by the fact that she now appeared to be a triplet.

Necklace Taako shook his head.  “Nah, sis, didn’t work last time.  I watched all you chucklefucks die, so trust me when I say that Creesh has to do this one, yeah?”

\---

They took up their battle positions as the Starblaster began its descent through the winter-gray clouds towards Hogwarts.  Davenport stood at the wheel, wand in one hand. At the front of the deck Lucretia waited, wand ready to bloom shielding spells all around the ship.

Next to her stood Necklace Taako, the Taako from the other timeline.  Merle’d mended his hat with a cantrip, but he still looked pretty ragged.  There were tear tracks down his cheeks, which, well - he’d just seen the rest of them die.  He’d earned some grief. He would cast the spell on Lucretia once the dementors had come and been blocked.

Behind Davenport, protecting him, stood Lup and Magnus.  Even though they’d told Magnus that dementors couldn’t be harmed physically, he still held his knife like a lifeline.

Barry and Merle and Hot Choco-Taako stood at the railings.  They’d each been briefed in Shield of Faith, and Lucretia’s strange brand of shielding on this plane.

They would make it safely to Hogwarts.  Lucretia would have her memories back.

If only they could survive the next hour.

\---

She felt the familiar staticky sensation of the dementors before she saw them.  As soon as her vision began to border on such, she raised her wand, and a shield bloomed around the hull of the Starblaster, around her family.  Lucretia channeled her heart into it.

She thought about Lup, and her smile, and her shy blush.  She thought about Merle and Davenport, in love and wandering through the universe together.  She thought about Barry, intelligent and kind; Taako, sarcastic and brilliant; Magnus, brave and loving.

Lucretia thought about her family, and the shield bloomed from her wand.  She would keep them safe. She  _ would _ .

Around the ship the dementors slammed into the shield, bounced off like rain off a window.  She couldn’t afford to joy in her success, as she fought to keep her family at the front of her mind.

Lucretia thought about how Lup tasted like butterbeer when she kissed her.  She remembered how Daphne had smiled at No Man’s land. 

Behind her, she heard Necklace Taako shout “Recordatun!”

And, like he was turning to dust, he flickered away, but -

Holy shit - she was Lucretia Director, and her moms on Tosun V - and the way the voidfish ichor tasted on Legato - and Taako’s baller cookies, and the way Lup smiled when she made pasta - and the year she spent alone - and, and, and -

She held her memories of her family in her mind, front and center, past and present.  

The shield held.

The dementors fell.

The Starblaster landed quietly, in untouched, snowy woods.

Lucretia fell to her knees.  “I... I  _ remember _ ,” she managed.

\---

_ Cycle 70, Year 3, January 1 _

_ I remember.  I fucking  _ remember _! _

_ I’m back, and... _

_ This might be the first time that words have failed me.  How can they possibly describe the experience of remembering ninety years of love, ninety years of calamity, ninety years of family?  I suppose that all I can say is that... I’m so glad. _

_ I’m glad that I’m back.  I’m glad that I can remember all of my inside jokes with Barry, and how Lup dropped the mike at the press conference at home.  Hell, I’m glad that I can remember my home, now. _

_ Tosun V.  A planet of two suns, purple skies, and another facet of my family, my home. _

_ But I’m also glad... I’m glad, I suppose, that I forgot.  It was worth it, to get the light and hopefully save this plane.  And perhaps it was all that Lup and I needed to collide. After seventy years of pining - and  _ wow _ , yes, I was a disaster - I’m glad that we found a happy ending _ .

_ The school year isn’t over, not yet.  I still need to go to the painting class with Lup, and beat Barry at our Boggle competition, and give Daphne her Candlenights present.  I still have No Man’s Land to attend, and Lup to love, and a whole plane of knowledge to gather. _

_ But I can’t rush the next few years. _

_ I suppose that all I can do now is hope for a happy epilogue, and enjoy the closing chapter. _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaand... that's a wrap!!!!  
> I've loved writing Lucretia. Seriously, y'all, this has been my favorite (and therefore longest!) of these installments.  
> Next up is... well, I won't spoil the surprise.   
> \---  
> Updates on the next installment will be out every Friday, starting in January (probably!). If I've got them done sooner, well... just keep your eyes out :D  
> \---
> 
> Thanks again, y'all. I love you guys.


End file.
